Joker
Believe al do not believe, but lived in this world
Fedot is an archer, a daring fellow.
Fedot was neither handsome, nor ugly, nor blush,
neither pale, nor rich, nor poor,
neither in the scab, nor in the brocade, and so, in general.
Fedot's service is fishing and hunting.
Tsar - game and fish, Fedot - thanks.
Guests in the palace are like seeds in a cucumber.
One from Sweden, the other from Greece,
the third from Hawaii - and give everyone a meal!
One - lobster, the other - squid,
the third - sardine, and one getter!
Once they give him an order -
a little light in the morning to come to the court.
The king looks like a morel, a head with a fist,
and the viciousness in it is an agromadic volume.
He looks at Fedka like a canker looks at a radish.
Fedka's shirt got wet from fear,
pounded in the temples, rumbled in the belly,
Here, as they say, the fairy tale begins.

Tsar
Come to us for morning pickle
The English ambassador arrived
And we have snacks in the house -
Half a humpback and a mosol.
Get ready, brother, go
Yes, get us something to eat -
Capercaillie al partridge.
Al isho someone.
You can't - who to blame? -
I must execute you.
state business,
Are you catching the thread?

Fedot
Something I don't understand
With my mind?
Tea, I don’t sip cabbage soup,
I figure out what's what.
Turns out it's on me
All politics in the country:
I won’t get a partridge -
There must be war.
To the English ambassador
I was not angry from hunger.
I won't spare my head
I'll provide a spread! ..

Joker

The word of the king is harder than crackers.
Send to the bear - go to the bear,
and where to go - you have to, Fedya!
Or game and fish - or a sword and a rack.
Fedot went around a hundred forests, a hundred swamps,
Yes, all in vain - no partridge, no capercaillie!
Tired, no urine, but it's the night.
Though with an empty bag, but it's time to go home.
Suddenly he sees - a bird, a forest dove,
sits, does not hide, is not afraid of a gun ...

Fedot
Here's the misfortune, here's the trouble
There is no sign of the game.
I'll shoot a pigeon
Whatever food!
And generally speaking, pigeons are scolded in vain
A dove, ... if in gravy, no worse than a capercaillie.

dove
You, Fedot, do not touch me,
The benefits of this are not a penny -
And you can't fill the pot
And don't stuff your pillow.
Overseas gentleman loves fresh galantine tea
What is the meat in me? So no meat, laughter alone.

Fedot
Whether the goblin is now zealous,
Is the air now drunk,
Whether it happened in the ear
What flaw do I have?
Only from the royal windows, such a law is announced,
For the birds to speak human language

dove
Do not create, Fedot, robbery,
And take me with you.
How do you bring me into the lighthouse -
I will be your destiny.
I will sew, wash, cook,
Do not reproach for insults
And play the violin for you
And bedbugs to kill you

Fedot
What a parable - I do not understand? ..
Okay, get in my bag! ..
We'll figure it out on the spot
Who goes where and what's what!

Joker
Fedot brought the turtledove to himself, which means, into the turtledove.
Sits sadly, hung his little head.
And there are serious reasons for the torment.
The hunting of our Fedot did not go well.
And the Tsar does not like to joke - he will cut off his head at once.
Fedot is sitting, sad, saying goodbye to the white light.
I remembered about the bird, the forest dove.
Look, and in the middle of the mountain, instead of that turtledove,
there is a red-haired girl, slender as a tree! ..

Marusya
Hello, Fedya! .. You and me -
We are now one family.
I am your wife, Marusya,
I am your wife.
Why are you silent, dear friend Fedot?
Like pouring water into your mouth.
Al is not the kokoshnik on me?
Al outfit on me is not the one?

Fedot
On you my soul
The century would look without breathing,
Just be your spouse
I do not shine a shish! ..
I was none - a little dawn -
At the reception of the king
Well, the King gave me a task
In a sense, it means capercaillie.
Though the game is not the season -
There is no reason to argue with the authorities:
Okay, I think I'll get it
Tea, capercaillie, not bison.
I walked all day
And good luck - at least a shadow:
Not a single serious bird
It's all complete rubbish!
And now to me, dear friend,
Not up to dancing on the meadow -
Tomorrow is the King for this business
It cuts my head off.
And I'm like this for nothing
Not at work or at home
'Cause all my meaning
exclusively in the mind

Marusya
Don't twist and don't whine!
There will be a table and there will be game!
Well, stand in front of me
Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!
(Marusya claps her hands -

When they understood the order -
Do it this very hour!

Well done
Don't hesitate,
Chai, it's not the first time!..

Joker
And the Tsar and the ambassador are already sitting behind
table. Next - you look!
Princess and nanny.
And everyone is waiting for the promised food from Fedya.
What is a conversation without a hearty lunch?
And the table is empty: carrots
yes cabbage, dill and parsley
- that's the whole feast.
The guest is bored, he shakes his boots,
examines the holes in the tablecloth.
The tsar is angry, does not notice how Fedka is called by his mother
Suddenly, as from the sky - a loaf of bread,
caviar badeyka, stewed turkey,
sterlet's ear, veal giblets,
- and such food names
up to a thousand! With such food
how not to be a conversation!..

Tsar
Causes antires
Your technical progress:
How do you sow swede there -
With peel or without? ..

Ambassador
Yes!

Tsar
Causes antires
Your nutritional process:
How do you drink cocoa there -
With or without saccharin?

Ambassador
Yes!

Tsar
Causes antires
And such isho cut:
How do you women go there -
In pantaloons or without? ..

Ambassador
Yes!

Nurse
Would you be embarrassed at least to send an ambassador? ..
Al completely weakened his head? ..
Wherever they say
All one will bring to the women! ..

Tsar
Are you back to your own tune?
I'll go to jail, mind you!
I'm not just a prankster
I'm in politics!
Evon girl grew up
And skinny, like half an oar!
So I'm thinking how to give out
Our steal for the ambassador!
Only need to benefit
Lure him, not angry -
Making subtle hints
Nevsuryez and from afar.

Nurse
Yes for this ambassador
I wouldn't even go
So it glares, bastard,
To wipe off the table!
He to you - all "yes" yes "yes",
Meanwhile, everything eats and eats.
Turn away - so he is half the kingdom
Swallow in one sitting!

Tsar
Ali shut your mouth
I'll kick Ali out!
You scared me so
All overseas attaches!
Dave was a Geshpan grandee,
Already a dandy, already a dandy!
A diamond in each ear -
What is not an option for you?
Well you arranged for a guest
Inadvertently sat on a nail,
And otsedova at the guest -
Political anger!

Nurse
How, I remember! .. Entot grand
Was to devour a great talent:
With his head he climbed into the plate,
Already smeared with fat bow!
Whatever you ask the grandee -
He is like an ass, "si" yes "si",
Well, everything leans
Ivasi herring!

Tsar
I am for your line
I will rot you at the root!
I'm not joking with you
I'm serious!
Baron from Germany
Was good in every way
Duck and here did not resist -
Damaged him.
Who to him at the bottom of the bucket
Dropped a dead mouse?
You're a real pest
Cursed soul!

Nurse
Yeah, that's your baron
Was not bad cracking,
Put him in a flock of crows -
He will also take away from the crows.
Looks proud - "I-a" yes "I-a",
And gluttonous as a pig
Give straw - eat straw,
Tea, a stranger - not your own! ..

Tsar
Well, spy, give me time -
I'll take you to prison!
Well, I'm not a bad guy
But strict with pests.
Here answer me - do not waste words! -
Where can the princess get a husband?
Tea, yourself, fool, you see -
She has no suitors!
If only a regiment crowded here -
There would be sense in arguing,
Well, no - grab anyone
Even if he was a Bryansk wolf! ..

Princess
If you are in power in Russia,
Duck and rule Raseya to your heart's content,
Don't meddle in my fate
And don't get into my love!
In the house of entih attache
Hundreds per floor
Me from their cologne
Can't breathe anymore!

Tsar
If love is really evil,
You will also love the ambassador.
And at the same time you will correct me
And trading business.
I'm under this antires
I will melt the hemp and the wood for them.
All society agrees
Only you go against! ..

Princess
No matter how much you raise your eyebrow -
I repeat again and again:
The individual has the right
For free love!
Maybe it's finally
And it would come to the rings, -
If he suddenly betrothed me
Your Fedotushko-shooter! ..

Tsar
Shut up, you fool!.. Shut up!..
Test place by the oven!
Well, march to your room
And learn solfeggia!
And the damn archer
Insolent and scoundrel,
I am whips and batogs
I’ll take you away from the palace at once! ..

Joker
The king had a general, he is information
collected. Hide the face in the beard
- and walk around the city.
Sniffing out, dog, thinking otherwise.
Eavesdropping on conversations
- What if there are conspirators in the country?
Where he hears a FAQ, he writes it down in a book.
And at seven exactly - to the king for a report.

Tsar.
What's wrong, General?
Ali fell ill with measles,
Ali got drunk with alcohol,
Did Ali lose cards?
Ali service is not nice,
Ali's army is small,
Ali found in the cannon
Barrel damage?
Report without any bullshit
Why is there darkness in the heart -
I want to know in detail
Who, where, FAQ and how!...

General
I was with the archer,
Fedot has a daring man,
How I saw his wife -
So he blurted out from the porch.
The third day - she-she, I'm not lying! -
I do not take a saber in my hands,
And such a dream
What, look, I'll die!
And the other day there was a sin -
Almost made up a poem.
The doctors got scared
They say - love shock! ..

Tsar
The archer has bypassed me! ..
But he knew that I was a widower! ..
Well, in a moment I steal ent
I'll deliver to the palace!
And the insidious archer
This time to wipe from the face,
So that he doesn't flinch
Near our porch! ..

General
Snatching her is not hard,
Yes, the people are painfully cool:
How do they know whose idea -
They will grind you to powder!
The people have become daring now.
Don't put your finger in their mouth
We do not favor Fedot,
And the people - on the contrary!

Tsar
You are such a fool
On Saturdays, how is it?
I owe something to the minister
Explain any nonsense?
So that the worst about the king
The people did not talk in vain,
Act strictly according to the law
That bish act ... on the sly.
Well, and I, right there,
I will reward you for your work:
The blacksmiths were given a task -
The Order will be gone by tomorrow! ..

Joker
The whole day the General collected his mind into a fist.
All kumekal in the sweat of his face, how to get rid of the archer.
Yes, in the head of the thought sour from the strain.
I remembered at my leisure about an old friend,
Baba Yaga to the Bone Leg: "I'll go to her, she's smarter! ..
And that middle of the oak forest collects herbs, cooks all kinds of poisons.
As I saw the General, I lost all herbariums.
I missed you in the wilderness without a kindred soul! ..

Yaga
You are not yourself
Unruly, lifeless! ..
Ali Swede near Petersburg,
Ali Turk near Moscow?..
Eat aspen bark -
And cheer up for the time being:
Tea, not what chemistry,
Tea, natural gifts!
In her juice, General,
There is useful mineral, -
From him from the Generals
None of them died!

General
That's enough, grandma! .. I'm not sick! ..
Let's move away - to the hillock! ..
Scare hedgehogs and squirrels
There is a serious conversation.
Here we have one archer -
Very literate, bastard! ..
Here is my assignment
Let him know at the end!
But how? Cut off the head -
Duck rumor will begin to trumpet! ..
Can you help with advice?
What's the smartest way to kill him?

Yaga
Conjure a woman, conjure a grandfather,
Three on the side - yours are not there,
Ace of diamonds, pine coffin,
About the archer, give me an answer!
If he is so zealous and quick,
That with the king enters into an argument, -
Let him get it by tomorrow
Carpet embroidered with gold.
To be visible on it
As on the map, the whole country.
Well, if it doesn’t get it, -
That is the getter of wine! ..

General
Hey grandma! Hey special!
That's the end of the hassle!
At least take you out of the stupa -
Yes, the minister to the palace!
None with the Germans,
Is it far from disaster?
And with you I'm ready
Though in intelligence, even where!
I pay good for good:
He likes - a marten, he likes - a beaver,
And if you don't want it, I can with a coin
Gold or silver!

Yaga
Completely, dove, do not sin,
Take away your money,
I'm not for money,
I'm ento for the soul.
There will be a new trouble -
Hurry right here.
Tea, and we are not animals in the forest.
Tea, we will always help! ..

Joker.
The King of the archer calls, a daring young man,
Isho did not give the task, but is already angry in advance.
He twists his hands, knocks with his feet, rotates his eyes, in general, frightens.
Already so he wants to lime Fedot,
what is important right in the bones of the ache! ..

Tsar.
Get a carpet in the morning
Embroidered with gold pattern! ..
state business,
Break up, but be kind!
To be visible on it
As on the map, the whole country,
Because I'm from the balcony
No review no shit!
You can't find the FAQ I want -
I'll shorten my head
I will hand you over with the dawn
Right into the clutches of the executioner!

Joker.
Fedot came home, mute from grief.
Sitting in a corner, staring at the ceiling
Clear eyes clouded with tears.
Manya is calling, and he bulls his neck,
doesn’t want anything, sulks and whimpers ...

Marusya.
Are you angry as a hedgehog?
You don't eat or drink?
Ali porridge burned,
Ali jelly is not good?

Fedot.
What kind of food is there!
The king is fierce - it's a disaster!
No on this villain
No government, no court!
Get it, the carpet screams -
Pattern embroidered with gold
Wide across Russia
A hundred forests and a hundred lakes!..

Marusya.
Don't twist and don't whine!
Let the old bastard rage!
Come on, stand in front of me
Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!..
(Marusya claps her hands -
there are two hefty fellows)
When they understood the order -
Do it this very hour!

Well done.
Don't hesitate,
Tea, it's not the first time!

Joker.
The next morning Fedot is at the Tsar's gates.
I came to the reception, and I accepted the carpet.
It is worth smiling, the guards are not afraid.
The king was surprised, he even choked on his caviar.
Anger sharpens him, but wants to show.
Makes a look that seems to be happy!..

Fedot.
Yesterday you asked for a carpet, -
Well, I got him.
Everything according to the contract -
Have a drawing, and color.
All Raseyushka is full
Reflected on the carpet.
This carpet is a gift to you
My wife weaved! ..

Tsar.
Ay suck! Oh yeah grab!
How many are you married to?
Ali you betrothed immediately
One-piece weaving mill?
You, Fedot, have a wife,
Though smart, but still alone!
And to weave this overnight -
Their division is needed! ..

Fedot
Al carpet does not please the eye?
Al is not the one in the carpet pattern?
Well, I'm under his arm
Yes, the conversation is over.
In order not to let the abyss of work
I will sell it to merchants
And let him from Russia
Sailing to Amsterdam
Tsar
I would beat you with whips,
Four or five
So that you don't freak out
Over serious people!
But since I am calm
What is order and law,
Here's a fiver for vodka
And get out of here!..

Joker
The Tsar is calling the General, a pin in his visor!
The king's face looks like a beet,
and when it's red, it's dangerous!
The infection hits, a little more than once
But it doesn't go past the eye
STE general checked on himself
From the beginning of the tale, he walks in a bandage

Tsar
Well, brother, what is the result?
Freaked out?
Only this bit will pull
About five years old!
You are broad in our shoulders,
And the head is completely withered.
Here you go and fix it
On state-owned grubs! ..

General
Take me to prison
For any length of time -
All the same, this science
It won't work for me, fool, for the future!
I would have a saber and a horse -
Yes, to the line of fire!
And palace intrigues -
Anthony is not about me!

Tsar
You to me, your honor,
Throw a fever, then flog!
You figure out how without a saber
We Fedot to overcome!
Well, you will be a fool -
Do not look for fault in anyone:
I'll clean your snout
Personally with a fist!..

Joker
In vain the General rubbed his hands:
it did not work out from the raid to destroy Fedot.
Again, the poor fellow's head is in tension.
And in the head - listen! - well, at least a little thought!
Thought and thought, thought nothing.
No matter how you spin, you can’t do without Yagi!
I went back into the oak forest - to look for justice on Fedot! ..

Yaga
Are you gloomy again?
What is the cause, who is to blame?
Al Spanish races
Al guardsuz went to war? ..
Here's a jelly from the mold!
Tea, have you tried it yet?
Duck drink - and immediately forget
About the mundane carousel!
It doesn't taste so good
But it takes away the shivers
You'll be healthy tomorrow
Unless you die!

General
I'm talking about the shooter again!
There is no end to my trouble!
That's why I'm sick
That's why he slept off his face.
Why, scoundrel, cunning -
All around wiped their noses!
No matter how much you conjured here,
And he got that carpet!
Even though he looks like a simpleton,
And cook a master with your head,
So henceforth conjure more seriously,
With feeling, so your rastak!

Yaga
Conjure, woman, conjure, grandfather,
Three on the side - yours are not there,
Ace of diamonds, pine coffin,
Give me an answer about the stitch!
So!.. Ege!.. Uh-huh!.. Aha!..
Here is what Yaga found out:
Let him give you a deer
So that horns of gold! ..
Search the whole wide world -
There are none in nature!
Anto I am to you, blue,
I speak as a local historian! ..

Joker

Before our Fedot had time to wipe the sweat from his face,
and the evil king has a new idea.
The tsar seethes with ideas, and Fedka sweats!
In general, Fedka's life is worse than a bitter radish! ..

Tsar
Well, throw off the blues and laziness
And - on the road this very day!
State business -
desperately need a deer!
If you are a servant of the king -
Go over the mountains, over the meadows
And find me a deer there,
So that the horns are made of gold.
Do not gundi and do not cross,
And go and provide
And not at the moment you know
How the head flies off the shoulders! ...
Fedot came home, snot - fringe!
He sat down in front of the torch in an embrace with the torment.
Wife - a beauty on the neck rushes,
But he doesn't touch his wife!
Sitting, crying - grieving, it means! ..

Marusya
Why are you looking like an owl?
Al are you freaking out about what?
Al in the hodgepodge there is little salt,
Al steak underperformed?

Fedot
What a lunch!
The king tortured - no save!
In the morning it will be necessary again
Before him to answer!
Entot King of the fierce enemy -
Sends me on the run again:
Find, screaming, deer,
So that horns of gold! ..

Marusya
Do not twist and do not whine! ..
There are sorrows and oprich! ..
Well, stand in front of me
Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!
(Marusya claps her hands -
there are two hefty fellows)
When they understood the order -
Do it right now!

Well done
Don't hesitate -
Chai, it's not the first time!..

Joker
A little light Fedot - at the Tsar's gates.
He came to the reception, and the deer received it.
The king stabbed from anger on the left.
Would crush the nits, but does not seem to mind.
Sits, yawns - hides anger! ..

Fedot
Tea, are you tired? Good day!
Look out the window when not lazy!
You ordered deer -
Well, here's a deer for you!
And - notice! - horns on it
That's how they burn fire.
From him without any lamp
At night it is as bright as day!

Tsar
Those deer - don't lie! -
Not in Tula or Tver.
What's in Tver - in Baghdad itself
There are at most three of them!
And now count up, soldier, -
Where is Moscow, and where is Baghdad!
Ali you hit the night
To Baghdad and back?

Fedot
Well, come on, vigorous louse!
And you don't like deer?
And yesterday he was publicaning his soul:
Take out the deer and lay it down! ..
If you are already rich, -
I will return it to Baghdad.
Who's in power there? -
That guy will be happy!

Tsar
You, Fedka, give it up to me,
Or with your head you will be apart!
I see your hints
Exceptionally through!
oh well, for the prestige
Don't you forgive the devil!
Here's a penny for vodka
And go wherever you want!

Joker
Calls the Tsar General -
right out from under the covers.
The general is in a panic, looking for underpants,
understands - they are not called for gingerbread!
The king sits on the throne -
angry at the whole world.
Black with anger
like a raven in the graveyard! ..

Tsar
No matter how hard you fight, my dear,
Fedot did not fall into the snare!
Already compiled about you
official obituary,
You just need to decide
How to get back to you to decide:
Stun with a candelabra
Al pillow to suffocate?

General
I screwed up, my lord!
Here are those saber, if you want - hit it!
Only more of those Fedot
My brains are not turpentine!
What a fool - do not blame me!
I have a different mind!
I would go somewhere to attack.
Al to storm somewhere! ..

Tsar
You are with a sword,
Just here's the FAQ:
Fedot must be defeated
Not with a sword but with a head
Well, you will be just as fast
How have you been until now,
I am you, cow face,
I'll put it under the ax myself! ..

Joker
Our fool again strained his mind.
And there was that mind - small bins.
I thought, I thought, I thought, I didn't think at all.
He whistled the dogs to the horde - and to Yaga in the oak forest.
She saw that General - she jumped right up to the Urals.
Yes, I came to my senses and returned:
no matter how worse it turned out! ..

Yaga
You're out of your mind!
Out and a pimple on the lip!
Oh, you're wasting your health
In the political struggle!..
Try rabbit litter!
He is vigorous! He will get through!
And where is the healing honey,
Even if it doesn't taste like honey.
It tastes cool though
And with him, it happens, they die,
But which ones survive?
They live to old age!

General
You tell me, grandmother, do not twist!
You find ways!
You think like Fedot
Bring to the grave!
No matter how hard you fought, Yaga,
And it didn't work out!
Fedot got a deer -
Precious horns!
You blow your head
Yes, conjure more carefully.
Our archer, as it turned out,
Don't be so crazy!..

Yaga
Actually I'm smart
In the sense of the meanness of the inside,
But tea to me today
Do not conjure in the morning! ..
Everything hurts and hurts
And in the chest it burns with fire! ..
I've been suspecting for a long time
I have encephalitis!
Oh, what a bad thing for me!
Do you hear the crunch in your back?
In a word, since such a thing -
I'm generally on the bulletin!

General
Got sick - no problem!
Eat the frog from the pond!
There is no reliable medicine
Than the natural environment!
You fool my brains
You can't even think!
Better than all your submissiveness
Get to work!
And you will climb on rampage
I'll take my saber out of its scabbard
Even though you are my friend
But order must be

Yaga
Conjure, woman, conjure, grandfather.
Three on the side - yours are not there,
Ace of diamonds, pine coffin,
About the archer, give me an answer!
Let Fedot show agility
May you be able to get
That - FAQ - In this world -
Actually - it can't be!
Well, Fedot, now hold on!
It's the right thing to say!
That's the entogo task
You will not fulfill a single life! ..

Joker
The King of the archer is calling, a daring young man.
Again, an order of state importance.
When will this torment end!
Meanwhile, the tale is far from the denouement! ..

Tsar
Try to get me
That-FAQ-It can't be!
Write down your name
So as not to forget in a hurry!
And you won’t do it by morning -
I'll grind you to powder
Because your carachter
I haven't been good for a long time!
So don't blow your lips
And let's get on the road!
State business -
Are you getting the point?

Joker
Fedot came home - more terrible than death itself!
White as chalk, face numb.
Sat at the window - in the eyes of a veil.
Manya rushed, and he - zero attention! ..
You will be in sorrow, since death is behind you! ..

Marusya
Well, pour out your soul to me,
Otchavo are you a hell of a lot?
Al in Milanese salad
Not enough truffles?

Fedot
I am yours, Marus, menu
I especially appreciate
Only my life, Marusya,
Lost in the bud!
What should I do? What do i do?..
How can I get rid of my misfortune?
The king ordered me to deliver
That-FAQ-It can't be!..

Marusya
Don't be sad and don't whine!
All you have to do is call out!
Come on, stand in front of me
Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!
(Marusya claps her hands -
there are two hefty fellows)
If you understand the order -
Do it this very hour!

(Pause)

Well done
Sorry hostess.
This is not about us!
If only shemku al drawing -
We would start a vertex.
Well, and so - look for as much as you want,
You'll find the devil!
Where to look and how to get
That-FAQ-Can't be?
After all, he is not in the world,
How much earth do not dig! ..

Marusya
Do not seek, dear friend Fedot,
My income is low!
Know your fate, my love,
Go hiking yourself!
Do not wander abroad
Keep yourself clean.
Don't interfere in conversations
And don't make acquaintances!
Avoid empty haze
Avoid curved roads
Think more about health
Eat sour cream and cottage cheese

Fedot
You, Marus, don't be afraid!
Formed, Marus!
I will fulfill the royal task
And I'll be back safe!
Don't be sad without me
Water the ficus more often
Hosh - play the balalaika
Hosh on the hoop embroider
Well, this one will turn up,
Who will disturb your peace, -
I don't need to teach you
Frying pan at hand!

Fedot left, on an overseas trip,
The general found out about that, he lost his last mind.
Our trickster runs to the king's palace,
Report that the archer is the End.
Already a hole for the order
Drilled - Tolstomordin!

Tsar
Is it good or bad news,
Report everything to me!
Better bitter but true
What a pleasant, but flattery!
Only if the ent is news
Will be again - God knows
You are for such truth
You can sit down for ten years! ..

Tsar
Come on, Nanny, come here,
Get to work -
Tear hair out of the crown
Those who are gray.
And what are not gray-haired, -
Comb those in rows.
Yes, take it easy with a comb,
I don't have gardens there!

Nurse
Well, scratch something, old devil,
When the bald head bakes ?!
You have every hair here
Must be registered!
And what do you need
Wife at this age?
After all, you, as a man,
Sorry, worthless!

Tsar
Even though I'm hairless
And I must marry!
The Shah of Persia is also bald,
And he has forty wives!
I only want one
Get yourself a wife!
Something I am in an intimate sense
And I won’t pull one? ..

Nurse
So the Shah can see
There is a strength and become
And you - you dead cricket
You can't see it from under the crown.
Have you in your years
The strength is not the same
Save your health
After all, you are already over a hundred

Tsar
Well, well, what is more than a hundred
If only the blood was thick
And they say love is submissive
Everything is literally grown
So nanny, like it or not,
And I'm on business
When all love is submissive
So I'm submissive too

Nurse
You, my friend, are one of those men
What is more harmless already -
They eat, they don't bite
Not to say worse!
To steal someone else's woman,
You have to have ardor and passion!
And now your task is
Don't go to the cemetery!

King (general)
Well, you're silent
Do you strum medals?
Al don't you see how they rot
Government prestige?
The nanny bends me into an arc,
And the minister - no gu-gu!
You are on our defense
So fight back the enemy!

General
Why, women's courts
About men are always thin!
Don't doubt yourself
You are a lover even where!
Proud profile, firm step,
From the back - duck a clean check!
Just move the crown to the side
So that it does not hang on the ears! ..

Tsar (nanny)
Here the minister is not my enemy,
Everything as it is said without a lie,
But he's not a stupid man,
Don't look like he's a fool.
From you - one bedlam,
Shame on the king, embarrassment on the ambassadors!
I've been anti-rescuing for a long time
You are not sent to us? ..
Don't spy and don't harm
And if you dare - look:
We have a conversation with you
There will be a big one ahead!

Joker
The Tsar goes to Mane - to pay attention.
He himself sits in the carriage, stinks of decolon,
Behind the king retinue - powdered, curled,
Behind the retinue is a chest - gozinaki and hazelnuts.
All honor for honor - the Tsar is going to the bride! ..

Tsar
By order of the king
Fedka has departed for the seas!
In general, I left him
Melted, in other words!
So as not to live in poverty one -
Be my wife!
A FAQ? .. I'm a prominent man
And to the caress of a clockwork! ..

Marusya
Isho Fedot did not have time
Take a step from the gate
And the crows have flown
To Fedotov's garden!..

Tsar
You, girl, do not fool me!
They offer - take it!
Tea, to you not every evening
Widow kings are coming!
This hour, I say
Come to the altar!
Crazy with delight
Duck sniff ammonia!

Marusya
You're better, sir, hit on others. Well I care - wait for Fedot Yes, look at the calendar. Tsar
That's it, girl, the rumors are false,
Waiting for the archer is a waste of time.
He's in some Hong Kong,
Eats some kind of grapefruit.
You yourself, fool, weigh,
He is there and you are here.
No now Fedot,
There was Fedot, but he came out all ...
Marusya
Though whip me with a whip,
Even cut me with a sword, -
Everything is your wife
I won't be nothing!

Tsar
You, Marus, don't piss me off
And the conflict with me is not long!
Me the other day from Paris
The guillotine has arrived!
In the light of what I have said -
Better be my wife!
I've got nerves too
I'm not made of steel either!

Marusya
Go away, hateful, away,
And do not mind yourself as husbands!
You won't leave - yes I can and
Help with a frying pan!

Tsar
Well, those at the door -
Hurry into her shackles!
Anto what kind of fashion -
Frying pans in the kings!
Here you will wash yourself in prison -
And get better in your mind!
How much are you, girl, don't be shy,
Let's get married by winter!

Marusya
Catch me, bastard
Lots of work needed!
Goodbye, my dear friend,
Maybe we'll see each other sometime!

(Marusya turns into a dove and flies away)

Joker
Fedot sailed for almost a year.
I ate halva, ate persimmon - but kept my mind in mind!
Miracles in the world - like flies in the toilet,
and the necessary miracle is not seen yet.
Fedot is worried - time is running out!
I decided without hysteria: I'll go to America!
Fedot floats among the endless waters,
in front - sunset, behind - sunrise.
Suddenly the weather turned bad in the middle of the campaign.
There was no misfortune - and on you, hello,
the ship is fucked up! - and broke into pieces! ..
The storm subsided - Fedot opened his eyes:
lies on the wave, completely unharmed.
He sees the island sticking out like a float.
I got to the shore, I thought - America.
He took out a map, checked it - but no, not America!
Buyan Island, be it cursed, -
maybe there is a flaw in the map?
Fedot sits, hiccups, delves into the situation ...

Fedot
How at the whim of the king
I have not sailed across the seas, -
Haven't seen a lousy place
Frankly speaking!
Well, the island is just longing! -
All stone and sand
And as long as the eye suffices -
No rivulets, no woods! ..
Yes, it wouldn't be a problem
If there was food here, -
If there was a swan here,
And the swan would have come down! ..

Voice
Who is hungry for food -
Let him come here:
I have a lot of food
I have her pounds!
Here, for example, get
Straight from the kalachi oven
Here's a roast turkey
Here is cherry plum compote!
Here are sausages, here are cheeses,
Here is half a centner of caviar,
Here are the Caribbean lobsters
Here are the Don sturgeons!..

(Tables with food appear)

Fedot
Anto what miracles?
Anto what kind of voices?
There's nowhere to hide,
Okyan yes heaven!
Give, master, honor,
Show what you are!
Somehow indecent to the guest
Eat and drink alone!
Tea, on your island
It's more fun to be bored together -
Where do we scatter the cards?
Where will we pour a cup! ..

Voice
I would be glad, yes, my portrait -
It's a secret for me too!
I hesitate sometimes,
Either I exist or I don't!
I have countless worries:
There is food, but nothing to eat,
There is tobacco, but there is nothing to sniff,
There is a bench, but nothing to sit on!
So tired for a thousand years
What is not a joy white light!
Thought it was choking
Duck again, no neck!

Fedot
Ah yes vsrecha! .. Therefore,
I managed to get you
That-FAQ-On the white world
Actually - it can't be!
What, yearning and blues,
Life to waste in vain
Maybe you can swim with me
Before the racist king?..
Take a walk, freshen up
Make friends with the white light!
What is life without adventures
Just awful, not life! ..

Voice
I am useful prospects
Never against!
I'm ready even for the bees in the hive,
If only only in co-op!
Give an order - and at least where,
At least for mining!
I will work hard for nothing,
No drink and no food!
I am good for any business,
I enter any door
I'll get you whatever you want
Even a shod louse! ..

Fedot
Louse, it is, of course, well?
Wow, that's good too!
But on this naskom
You won't swim far!
Get me a better fleet -
Ali boat, ali raft,
Since you are so skillful
In this case, a polyglot!
We are in the morning, at five o'clock,
Gotta be on the way
Because we are in Russia
Waiting already, come on! ..

And the king meanwhile does not waste time,
Receives the ambassador of the cannibalistic tribe.
London and Paris greased the skis
The king was left with more ambassadors.
The tsar in front of the ambassador is jumping like a goat
Here's your daughter, take her, period!
To know things are very bad, since it has come to such a misfortune
Well, okay, it happens even worse if the girl were with her husband

Tsar
Good afternoon, merry hour,
We are glad to see you with us.
Very Good, Salam Aleykum,
Bona Seira, you from Das.
Who are you from? How old are you?
Are you married or not?
Don't you want with our Fraulein
Chat tete-a-tete?

Nurse
Before whom are you, old demon,
Are you breeding polythesis here?
Your ambassador, I'm sorry
The third day, as from a palm tree of tears.
At least wear a cap,
It wouldn't be such a mess.
And on him from clothes - nothing ...
In addition to beads...
Tsar
You're a jerk, that's a fact.
Whatever you blurt out, everything is out of tune.
You are with all abroad,
I lost contact.
I've been waiting for messengers for years
And she is one of them from the sents.
For whom, then, the princess,
Give back in the end?

Nurse
You look him in the face...
Ears apart, nose ring.
Yes, and the skin is all pockmarked,
Like a cuckoo egg.
Even I, to hide it,
I wouldn't go to bed with him.
Duck really our girl
Give for this?

Tsar
If the chances are at zero, they are looking for gold and in ashes,
The girl, too, in the sense of erysipelas, is far from creme brulee.
Now anyone will do for her, even a humpbacked one, even a pockmarked one.
Because, like the pockmarked ones, they don’t crowd us.

Nurse
So he's from the wild
Looks like he's eating...
Do you remember the topaz vase?
Gobbled up, Herod, here are those cross.
If only he asked the villain for salmon and milk mushrooms,
So after all, he eats anything from porcelain to nails.

Tsar
Whatever he asks, he is a guest,
Bring everything to him.
Is there a shortage of tea?
Not in porcelain, not in nails?
If salmon gives him
Let him eat what he wants.
You give it to him for testing
Kolchadan and apatite.

Nurse
Yes, ambassadors, give them whatever poison they want, They will eat everything for free. He may be safe, but let him be watched. You tell him like a father-in-law, Eat everything they say, but know and honor. Because, as he is in the heat of the moment, And his wife can eat. Princess
What about with this? Yes, go out?
Well, dummies! Well, I do not!
He is also unsightly, and even a cannibal!
Yes, let him traglade, he will make me rich
He will not arouse any reciprocal passion in me!

Tsar
You sent it, call it back
Yes, stay with him ... er vis-a-vis.
And if you endure a little, then it will come to love.
If this one traglades, he will see your appearance,
He will forever lose his appetite for cannibalism.

Princess
How much, dad, you are not Noah,
The choice is mine.
I'll get poisoned, but I won't
Cannibal wife.
But if it comes
With a proposal - Fedot ...
For me, ... of the candidates,
This one will be the one.

Tsar
Charged that hoopoe
Whatever the word, then Fedot.
There is no Akromya Fedot, no sorrow, no worries.
Your Fedot is now at the bottom. Deep in the ocean
And since - Drowned - does not need a wife.

Princess
If that's the case, I refuse to eat.
Here's mine, papa, political revenge.
Here I will not eat caviar, as usual in a bucket.
And on the basis of exhaustion, I will fall ill and die.

Tsar
Where do not spit, where do not poke,
From ministers to relatives.
All solid freethinkers,
All pests are the same.
Well, life, as much as a lump in the throat,
No sympathy for anyone.
Here I will find a denser forest and get a job as a forester.

Joker
A year has passed, another is coming - Fedot returned home.
But there is no house, one skeleton sticks out,
beams and rafters, and nettles all around.
And under the cornice, a gray lump
a bird curled up, a forest dove...

Fedot
Come on, wifey, come on
Set the table for your husband!
Get me out of the oven
Blush loaf!
Pour vigorous cabbage soup
Fatter and thicker
I became thinner
From overseas vegetables!
Nobody in the whole house
Except the wind alone!
suspicious case,
Didn't it happen?..

(The dove turns into Marusya)
Marusya
Welcome back, Fedot!
Your journey has been long!
Al forgot his Marusya,
Why didn't you drive for a whole year?
Abroad, go
Entertainment - a dime a dozen!
Looked, I suppose, girlfriend
Yes, warmed up on the chest! ..

Fedot
I saw white light
Josephine and Henriette
But beauties like you
Among them, Marusya, no!
And I went beyond the seas
Though for a long time, but not in vain -
Still completed the task
Cunning king!

Marusya
If only you knew, Fedot,
Who are you wasting your sweat on?
Duck and would not take a step
From the native gates!
You left - he, shameful,
Started taking care of me
Persuaded, swindler,
Become a war wife!

Fedot
Really? .. Ah, the villain! ..
Now believe in people
So stand for the honor of the uniform,
Here's to the service and glad! ..
oh well, I told him
I'll explain what's what!
I am him to the very heels
I will sign under Khokhloma! ..
Stop making fools
From racial men!
I have nothing to lose now
Except your own shackles!

Joker
Fedot got angry, called the honest people.
The neighbors decided to help Fedya.
Frol took the stake, Ustin took the drain, Ignat took the grip.
Egor took an ax
And all behind Fedot - to the Tsar's gates.
To meet them General, damn him!
He jumped sideways, flashed his pupil,
made an inspection - and to the king for a report!

General
Gathered there at the gate
Entot... like his... people!
In general, the case takes
Social turnover!
And it's all Fedot's fault,
Anto he stirs up the people,
Inciting the population
Make a coup!

Tsar
Well, what are you doing to us,
With such a saber?
That's why we keep you
To keep the kings calm!
After rain on Thursday
I'll give you another medal
Just try your best
So that the people do not overthrow me! ..

General
Look, a medal!.. Great honor!..
I have countless awards:
All hung like a Christmas tree
On the back - and then there are six of them! ..
Keep you safe from harm
I have no reason now!
You are for your own meanness
You must answer for yourself!

Joker
Fool out of fools, but how he spoke!
Although the Tsar is angry - but try it in a hurry!
This is not the time to hit on the head.
The Tsar came out onto the porch, made a stern face,
and on the square to the people - the whole of Russia is there!

Tsar
Anto how, your mother,
I'm sorry, do you understand?
We are not some kind of storage,
To stir up confusion!
Who wants to Kolyma -
Come out one by one!
There you have the moment to come
Enlightenment in the mind!

Fedot
As for the mind
He is very bright:
Thank God we distinguish
Forget-me-not shit!
Why do you hurry me
Sent over a hundred seas?
Is it not then to marry
On my wife?

Tsar
Anto where are you, villain,
Got ideas like this
To rivet FAQ
For decent people!
Does it suit me -
To pester your wife? ..
Here come you, morons,
On overseas tours!

Fedot
You don't get angry, -
We are to you, tea, not for tea!
Well, you will race -
I'll go to the snout by chance!
About you, about the scoundrel,
Glory already in Cherepovets!
You are in the soul of all the people
Spat in my face!..

Tsar
You should not, Fedya! .. For me
My people are my kindred.
I have no thoughts about the people
I can't live even a day!
In the morning I smear a sandwich -
Immediately thought: what about the people?
And caviar does not climb into the throat,
And compote does not pour into your mouth!
I'll stand at the window at night
And I stand all night without sleep
Everyone is worried about Russia
How is the poor... she?!
And the culprit is the General,
Schemer and immoral!
Anto he, a cow's muzzle,
You have defiled the honor of the king!
Let him come out!.. Where is he?..
I'll ask him now!
I'll rip off his medal
Yes, a medal in the face! ..

General
Whatever, brothers ... I'm for you
Lost an eye in an attack!
Something when I dare
Against the masses of the people!
I will justify. I will serve.
I will suffer. I'll do it.
To the oppressive top
I don't belong anymore!
And the culprit is Yaga!
There is no more dangerous enemy!
Gorynych himself is in front of her -
So, not a snake, but a small fry!
Well, where are you, fidget?
Look people in the eyes!
Personally, I can't resist
I'll cut my saber twice! ..

Yaga
I am a folklore element
I have a document.
I can get away
Fly away at any moment!
For the heat, for the blizzard
Everyone scolds me, hag,
And there's no more harm in me
Than in a chamomile in a meadow!
Well, by chance, well, jokingly,
Went off the right track!
After all, I am a child of nature,
Let it be bad, but - a child!
Kohl to judge - duck those two,
My accomplices.
Anto I look like evil spirits,
And in fact, cleaner than them! ..

Fedot
Well, you are a cunning people,
Azhno take aback!
Everyone else thinks a freak,
Despite the fact that he is a freak.
At least racial people
To reprisal and not fierce,
But I have to, robyaty,
Make judgment on you.

Tsar
Spare me archer
I'm a scoundrel, I'm a scoundrel.
I will send myself to Voronezh, I will send myself to Yelets.
Tonka is not on Magadan, STE is beyond my years.
Until I get there, I'm afraid - I'll give you an oak.

General
I admit my guilt...
Measure, degree, depth.
And please guide me
for the current war.
No war? I will accept everything.
Exile, hard labor, prison...
But ... preferably in July and preferably in the Crimea.

Yaga
And where are I, widow?
Is it just to Khiva...
I'm so out of touch
I live nowhere else.
For me to rest my soul,
Aunts would come.
Tama, in the sense of medicine, herbs are painfully good.

Fedot
We'll put you in a tub
Let's throw into the sea and - adyu!
Get around and a bucket,
Don't give you a rook!
And carry you okian
Straight to the island on Buyan!
Well, so as not to go wild,
Here is my personal accordion for you,
Really, it's my fault! -
Doesn't play shit
But what, no,
And you need culture!

Princess
As for the king, let him ride across the seas,
To me his problems are deep to the lantern.
He is punished by fate, for deceit and robbery.
Anto he, damned ghoul, separated me from you.
Thank God, finally, the end of the usurper,
And now we can boldly
Go down the aisle.

Fedot
I would be glad, but I don’t need two spouses in the house.
Address on entu a subject, to unmarried whom.

Nurse
Have you lost your mind?
The fish swims in the net itself.
Tea is not such happiness for everyone,
Gets for a gift?!
Ali think of her
Few guys run?
On her list of candidates,
There are guys who are not stupid.
All with excitement in the chest,
Waiting for princess love.
The competition is so
Straight, you like the dust of their herbs.
Yes, they wooed a little light, at once - a Turk, a Greek and a Swede.
Well, we got a negative answer right off the bat.
And for the poor archer, arrogance is completely useless.
Take the princess, fool, and drag her to the crown.

Fedot
I am neither Turkish nor Greek.
I am a family man.
And with my wife Marusya
I won't break up forever.

Princess
Has it become unbearable for you? Burning maiden help?
But after all, for the time being, I am, after all, the Tsar's daughter.
If I don't get what I want from you
You will go from here straight into the clutches of the executioner!

Nurse
Where you are oh and hot, but you will not find an executioner.
When dad was overthrown, he immediately asked a chirp.
We now - keep in mind, we must be in harmony with the crowd.
Despotism is not in fashion now. Democracy on the move!
Would you leave from here, to entot ... how is it? Brussels!
Since this happens, I'm sorry, carousel.
Forgive her, Fedot. She has a mess in her mind.
From books, her thoughts became backwards.
I read Dumas, so I went crazy.
Take it easy, calm down on your own.

Fedot
Come on, princess, don't be sad,
And do not crunch with moss.
That love did not work out for us, forgive me for that.
But... since I can't remain in debt,
I will help you in your misfortune as best I can.
I'm from Tula to Torzhok, I'll search everything to the top,
even from the bottom of the sea for you, but I will get a groom.

Princess
I agree, but still
Not any will please me.
I want such a husband
To be like you.
Whether he is a Swiss or a reaper,
Healer, baker al blacksmith.
I have one condition...
Let him be your twin.

Fedot
I'm your friend's dream, I'll definitely take it into account.
If you want such instances, everything counts in Russia.
As for the mind, there are no duplicates for me.
However ento, I hope you noticed yourself.
Well, yes, the word of the young man, all the same, not thinner aspic.
Since I promised... I'll get a twin.
And now, honest people,
Get the faces out of the beards!
Tea, we do not have a memorial service,
Quite the contrary!
We no longer shed tears, -
Sing songs and drink honey! ..
Come on, stand in front of me
That-FAQ-It can't be!..

Fedot
Treat honest people
From overseas bounty!
Tea, they are such food
Spawning did not take in the mouth!
Offer them in reality
Samarkand halva,
And Turkish pistachios
And Persian quince!
Put everything on the tablecloth -
Chocolate and marmalade
And Dutch brisket
And Chukhon servant!
Don't forget the Swiss cheese!
The one that is full of holes!
Throw us a feast for glory,
Which the world has not seen!
Well, if anyone asks
Brazhki grams of commercials a hundred -
So be it!.. Today you can!..
Thank God, there is something! ..

Joker
I was also at that feast, eating grainy caviar.
Prov ate pilaf. Filat ate a salad. Ustin ate galantine.
And Fedot the Sagittarius ate pickle.
And how he ate a cucumber - that's the end of the tale!
And what a fairy tale is bad is the storyteller's fault.
To catch a fool and give a cuff,
but it is impossible in any way - after all, the narrator is a fool!
And for centuries we have no court for fools! ..

HERE IS THE END OF THE TALE...

Leonid Filatov - a fairy tale about Fedot the archer, a daring young man: read the text online
(Based on Russian folklore)

funny buffoon

Believe it or not, but Fedot the Sagittarius lived in this world, a daring fellow. Fedot was not handsome, not ugly, not ruddy, not pale, not rich, not poor, not scab, not brocade, but just like that. Fedot's service is fishing and hunting. Tsar - game and fish, Fedot - thanks. Guests in the palace are like seeds in a cucumber. One from Sweden, another from Greece, the third from Hawaii - and give everyone something to eat! One - lobsters, another - squids, the third - sardines, and one getter! Once they give him an order: at a little light in the morning to come to the court. The king looks like a morel, a head with a fist, and the viciousness in him is an agromadic volume. He looks at Fedka like a canker looks at a radish. Fedka's shirt got wet from fear, there was a pounding in his temples, a growl in his belly, here, as they say, the fairy tale began ...

Come to us for morning pickle
The English ambassador arrived
And we have snacks in the house -
Half a humpback and a mosol.
Get ready, brother, go
Yes, get us something to eat -
Capercaillie al partridge,
Al isho someone.
You can't - who to blame? -
I must execute you.
State business -
Do you catch the thread? .

Something I don't understand
With my mind? .
Tea, I don’t sip cabbage soup,
I figure out what's what.
Turns out it's on me
All politics in the country:
I won’t get a partridge -
There must be war.
To the English ambassador
I was not angry from hunger -
I won't spare my head
I will provide a spread! .

funny buffoon

The word of the king is harder than crackers. If he sends for a bear - you go for a bear, but where to go - you have to, Fedya! Or game and fish - or a sword and a rack. Fedot walked around a hundred forests, a hundred swamps, but all in vain - not a partridge, not a capercaillie! Tired, no urine, and it's the night. Though with an empty bag, but it's time to go home. Suddenly he sees - a bird, a forest dove, sits, does not hide, is not afraid of a gun ...

Here's the misfortune, here's the trouble
There is no sign of the game.
I'll shoot a pigeon
Whatever, yes food!
And to put it bluntly,
Pigeons are scolded in vain.
Dove - if in gravy -
He is no worse than a wood grouse!. .

dove

You, Fedot, do not touch me,
Benefits in entom not a penny -
And you can't fill the pot
And don't stuff a pillow.
Tea, overseas gentleman
Likes fresh galantine
And what kind of meat is in me,
So, not meat, laughter alone!. .

Whether the goblin is now zealous,
Is the air now drunk,
Whether it happened in the ear
What flaw do I have?
Either from the royal windows
Such a law was promulgated
For the birds to speak
human language? .

dove

Do not create, Fedot, robbery,
And take me with you.
How do you bring me into the light
I will be your destiny.
I will sew, wash, cook,
Do not reproach for insults
And play the violin for you
And bedbugs to kill you!. .

What a parable - I do not understand?. .
Okay, get in my bag! .
There, on the spot, we'll figure it out
Who goes where and what's what!

funny buffoon

Fedot brought the turtledove to himself, which means, into the turtledove. Sits sadly, hung his little head. And there are serious reasons for the torment. The hunting of our Fedot did not go well. And the king does not like to joke - he will cut off his head at once. Fedot is sitting, sad, saying goodbye to the white light. I remembered about the bird, the forest dove. Look - and in the middle of the gore, instead of that turtledove, there is a red-haired girl, slender as a tree! .

Hello Fedya! . You and me -
We are now one family.
I am your wife, Marusya,
I am your wife.
Why are you silent, dear friend Fedot,
How do you put water in your mouth? .
Al is not the kokoshnik on me,
Al outfit on me is not the one?. .

On you my soul
The century would look without breathing,
Just be your spouse
I don't get a damn thing! .
I was none - a little dawn -
At the reception of the king
Well, the king gave me a task
In a sense, it means capercaillie.
Though the game is not the season -
There is no reason to argue with the authorities:
Okay, I think I'll get it
Tea, capercaillie, not bison.
I went through the whole day
And good luck - at least a shadow:
Not a single serious bird
Everything is complete rubbish! .
And now to me, dear friend,
Not up to dancing on the meadow -
Tomorrow is the king for this business
It cuts my head off.
And I'm like this for nothing
Not at work, not at home,
'Cause all my meaning
Exceptionally in the mind!. .

Don't twist and don't whine!
There will be a table and there will be game!
Well, stand in front of me
Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!

(Marusya claps her hands - two hefty fellows appear)

When they understood the order -
Do it this very hour!

Don't hesitate,
Chai, it's not the first time!. .

funny buffoon

And the king and the ambassador are already sitting at the table. Next - you look! - princess and nanny. And everyone is waiting for the promised food from Fedya. What is a conversation without a hearty lunch? And the table is empty: carrots and cabbage, dill and parsley - that's the whole feast. The guest is bored, he shakes his boots, he studies the holes on the tablecloth. The tsar gets angry, does not notice how he calls Fedka after his mother. Suddenly - as if from the sky: a loaf of bread, a bucket caviar, a stewed turkey, sturgeon's ear, veal giblets - and such food has names up to a thousand! With such food - how not to be a conversation! .

Causes antires
Your technical progress:
How do you sow swede there -
With peel or without?. .

Causes antires
Your nutritional process:
How do you drink cocoa there -
With or without saccharin? .

Causes antires
And such isho cut:
How do you women go there -
In pantaloons or without?

I would be ashamed of even sending an ambassador! .
Al completely weakened his head?. .
Wherever they say
All one will bring to the women!

Are you back to your own tune?
I'll go to jail, mind you!
I'm not just a prankster
I'm in politics!
Evon girl grew up
And skinny, like half an oar!
So I'm thinking how to give out
Our steal for the ambassador!
Only need to benefit
To lure him not angry -
Making subtle hints
Nevsuryez and from afar.

Yes for this ambassador
I wouldn't even go
So it glares, bastard,
To wipe off the table!
He gives you all "Yes" yes "yes"
Meanwhile, everything eats and eats.
Turn away - he's half a Race
Swallow in one sitting!

Ali shut your mouth
I'll kick Ali out!
You scared me so
All overseas attaches!
Dave was a Gishpan grandee,
Already a dandy, already a dandy!
A diamond in each ear -
What is not an option for you?
Well you arranged for a guest
Inadvertently sat on a nail,
And otsedova at the guest -
Political anger! .

How do I remember! . Entot grand
Was to devour a great talent:
With his head he climbed into the plate,
Already smeared with fat bow!
What do not ask the grandee -
He is like an ass - "si" yes "si",
Well, everything leans
Ivasi herring!

I am for your line
I will rot you at the root!
I'm not joking with you
I'm serious!
Baron from Germany
Was good in every way
Duck and here did not resist -
Damaged him.
Who to him at the bottom of the bucket
Dropped a dead mouse?
You're a real pest
Cursed soul! .

Yes, this is your baron
Was cracking bad!
Put him in a flock of crows -
He will also take away from the crows.
Looks proud - "I-a" yes "I-a",
And gluttonous as a pig
Give straw - eat straw,
Tea, someone else's, not one's own!. .

Well, spy, give me time -
I'll take you to prison!
Well, I'm not a bad guy
But strict with pests.
Here answer me - do not waste words!
Where can the princess get a husband?
Tea, yourself, fool, you see -
She has no suitors!
If only a regiment crowded here -
There would be sense in arguing,
Well, no - grab anyone
Even if he was a Bryansk wolf! .

If you are in power in Russia,
Duck and rule Raseya to your heart's content,
And don't poke your nose into my fate
And don't get into my love!
In the house of entih attache
A hundred pieces per floor,
Me from their cologne
Can't breathe anymore! .

If love is really evil,
You will also love the ambassador.
And at the same time you will correct me
And trading business.
I'm under this antires
I will fuse stump and wood for them,
All society agrees
Only you go against!. .

No matter how you raise your eyebrow -
I repeat again and again:
The individual has the right
For free love!
Maybe it's finally
And it would come to the rings, -
If he suddenly betrothed me
Your Fedotushko is an archer! .

Chick, fool! . Shut up! .
Test place by the oven!
Come on, march to your room
And learn solfeggia!
And the damn archer
Insolent and scoundrel,
I am whips and batogs
At once I will dare from the palace! .

funny buffoon

The king had a general, he collected information. Hide his face in his beard - and walk around the city. Sniffing out, dog, thinking otherwise. He overhears conversations: what if there are conspirators in the country? Where he hears a FAQ, he writes it down in a book. And at seven exactly - to the king for a report.

What's wrong, General?
Ali fell ill with measles,
Ali got drunk with alcohol,
Did Ali lose cards?
Ali service is not nice,
Ali's army is small,
Ali found in the cannon
Barrel damage?
Report without any bullshit
Why is there darkness in the heart,
I want to know in detail
Who, where, FAQ and how!. .

I was with the archer,
At Fedot the daring
How I saw his wife -
So he blurted out from the porch.
The third day - she-she's not lying! -
I do not take a saber in my hands,
And such a dream
What the hell, I'll die!
And the other day there was a sin -
Almost made up a poem
The doctors got scared
They say: love shock!. .

The archer got around me! .
But he knew that I was a widower!
Well, in a moment I steal ent
I'll deliver to the palace!
And the insidious archer
This time to wipe from the face,
So that he doesn't flinch
Near our porch!. .

Snatching her is not hard,
Yes, the people are painfully cool:
How do they know whose idea -
They will grind you to powder!
The people have become bold now,
Don't put your finger in their mouth
We do not favor Fedot,
And the people - on the contrary!

You are such a fool
On Saturdays, how is it?
I owe something to the minister
To explain such a trifle?
So that the worst about the king
The people did not talk in vain,
Act strictly according to the law
That is, act ... on the sly.
Well, I'm right here -
I will reward you for your work:
The blacksmiths were given a task -
The Order will be closed by tomorrow!. .

funny buffoon

The whole day the general gathered his mind into a fist. All kumekal in the sweat of his face - how to get rid of the archer. Yes, in the head of the thought sour from the strain. I remembered at my leisure about an old friend, Baba Yaga the bone leg. I'm going to her, she's smarter! . And that middle of the oak forest collects herbs, cooks all kinds of poisons. As I saw the general, I lost all herbariums. I missed you in the wilderness without a kindred soul! .

You are not yourself
Not ruddy, not alive!. .
Ali Swede near Petersburg,
Ali Turk near Moscow?. .
Eat aspen bark -
And cheer up for the time being:
Tea, not what chemistry,
Tea, natural gifts!
In her juice, general,
There is a useful mineral, -
From him of the generals
None of them died! .

That's it, grandma! . I'm not sick! .
Let's go over the hill! .
Shake hedgehogs and squirrels,
There is a serious conversation.
Here we have one archer -
Very literate, bastard!. .
Here is my assignment
Let him know at the end!
But how? Cut off the head -
Duck rumor will begin to trumpet!. .
Can you help with advice?
What's the smartest way to kill him? .

Conjure, woman, conjure, grandfather,
Three on the side - yours are not there,
Ace of diamonds, pine coffin,
About the archer, give me an answer!
If he is so zealous and quick,
That with the king enters into an argument, -
Let him get it by tomorrow
Carpet embroidered with gold.
To be visible on it
As on the map, the whole country.
Well, if it doesn’t get it, -
That getter of wine!. .

Hey grandma! Hey special!
That's the end of the hassle!
At least take you out of the stupa -
Yes, the minister to the palace!
None with the Germans,
Is it far from disaster?
And with you I'm ready
Though in intelligence, even where!
I pay good for good:
He likes - a marten, he likes - a beaver,
And if you don’t want it, I can with a coin,
Gold or silver! .

Completely, dove, do not sin,
Take away your money,
I'm not for money,
I'm ento for the soul.
There will be a new trouble -
Hurry right here.
Tea, and we are not animals in the forest,
Tea, we will always help! .

funny buffoon

The king of the archer is calling, a daring young man. Isho did not give the task, and already angry in advance. He twists his hands, knocks with his feet, rotates his eyes, in general, frightens. He really wants to lime Fedot, which is right in the bones of the ache! .

Get a carpet in the morning -
Embroidered with gold pattern! .
state business,
Break up, but be kind!
To be visible on it
As on the map, the whole country,
Because I'm from the balcony
No fucking review!
You won’t find it, I want to, -
I'll shorten my head
I will hand you over with the dawn
Right into the clutches of the executioner!

Joker

Fedot came home, mute from grief. He sat down in a corner, looked up at the ceiling, and clouded his clear eyes with tears. Manya calls to eat, but he bullies his neck, does not want to, he sulks and whimpers ...

Are you angry as a hedgehog?
Do you eat or drink?
Ali porridge burned,
Ali jelly is not good?

What kind of food is there!
The king is fierce - it's a disaster!
No on this villain
No government, no court!
Get it, screaming, carpet,
gold embroidered pattern,
The width of the whole of Russia,
In a hundred forests and a hundred lakes!. .

Don't twist and don't whine!
Let the old bastard rage!
Well, stand in front of me
Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!. .

When they understood the order -
Do it this very hour!

Don't hesitate,
Tea, it's not the first time!

funny buffoon

The next morning Fedot is at the Tsar's gates. I came to the reception, and I accepted the carpet. It is worth smiling, the guards are not afraid. The king was surprised, he even choked on his caviar. Anger sharpens him, but does not want to show. Makes a look that seems to be happy!. .

Yesterday you asked for a carpet, -
Well, I got him.
Everything according to the contract -
Both drawing and color.
All Raseyushka is full
Reflected on the carpet.
This carpet is a gift to you
Woven by my wife! .

Ay suck! Oh yeah grab!
How many are you married to?
Ali you betrothed immediately
One-piece weaving mill?
You, Fedot, have a wife
Though smart, but still alone!
And to weave this overnight -
Their division is needed!. .

Al carpet does not please the eye?
Al is not the one in the carpet pattern?
Well, duck I under his arm -
Yes, the conversation is over!
So that not in vain the abyss of labor,
I will sell it to merchants,
And let him out of Russia
Sailing to Amsterdam! .

I would beat you with whips,
Four or five
So that you don't freak out
Over serious people!
But since I am calm
I respect order and law,
Here's a penny for vodka
And get out of here! .

funny buffoon

The king calls the general, pin him in the visor! The king's face looks like a beet, and when he is red, he is dangerous at hand. It hits, infection, no more than once, but it does not miss the eye. Anto General checked on himself: from the beginning of the tale he walks in a bandage! .

Well, brother, what is the result?
Freaked out?
Only this bit will pull
About five years old!
You are broad in our shoulders,
And the head is completely withered.
Here you go and fix it
On state-owned grubs!. .

Take me to prison
For any length of time -
All the same, this science
It won't work for me, fool, for the future!
I would have a saber and a horse -
Yes, to the line of fire!
And palace intrigues -
Anthony is not about me!

You to me, your honor,
Throw a fever, then flog!
You figure out how without a saber
We Fedot to overcome!
Well, you will be a fool -
Do not look for fault in anyone:
I'll clean your snout
Personally entim fist!. .

funny buffoon

In vain the general rubbed his hands: it did not work out from the raid - to destroy Fedot. Again, the poor fellow's head is in tension. And in the head - listen! - well, at least a little thought! Thought and thought, thought nothing. No matter how you turn it, you can’t do without Yagi! I went back to the oak forest - to look for justice on Fedka! .

Are you gloomy again?
What is the cause, who is to blame?
Al Gishpan is chasing
Al guardsuz went to war?
Here is jelly from the mold!
Tea, have you tried it yet?
Duck drink - and immediately forget
About the mundane carousel!
It doesn't taste so good
But it takes away the shivers
You'll be healthy tomorrow
Unless you die! .

I'm talking about the shooter again!
There is no end to my trouble!
That's why I'm sick
That's why he slept off his face.
Why, scoundrel, cunning -
All around wiped their noses!
No matter how much you did not conjure,
And he got that carpet!
Even though he looks like a simpleton,
And cook a master with your head,
So henceforth conjure more seriously,
With feeling, so your rastak!

Conjure, woman, conjure, grandfather,
Three on the side - yours are not there,
Ace of diamonds, pine coffin,
About the archer, give me an answer!
So!. . Ege!. . Yes!. . Aha!. .
Here is what Yaga found out:
Let him find you a deer,
So that the horns are made of gold! .
Search the whole wide world -
There are none in nature!
Anto I am to you, blue,
I speak as a local historian! .

funny buffoon

The king of the archer is calling, a daring young man. Before our Fedot had time to wipe the sweat off his face, the tsar-villain had a new idea. The tsar seethes with ideas, and Fedka sweats! In general, Fedka's life is worse than a bitter radish! .

Well, throw off the blues and laziness
And - on the road this very day!
State business -
I desperately need a deer!
If you are a servant of the king -
Go over the mountains, over the meadows
And find me a deer there,
So that the horns are made of gold.
Do not gundi and do not cross,
And go and provide
And not at the moment you know
How the head flies off the shoulders!. .

funny buffoon

Fedot came home, snot - fringe! He sat down in front of the torch in an embrace with the torment. A beautiful wife throws herself on her neck, but he does not touch his wife! Sitting, crying - grieving, then!. .

Are you looking like an owl?
Al are you freaking out about what?
Al in the hodgepodge there is little salt,
Al steak underperformed?

What a lunch!
The king tortured - no save!
In the morning it will be necessary again
Before him to answer!
Entot is the king of the fierce enemy -
Sends me on the run again:
Find, screaming, deer,
So that the horns are made of gold! .

Don't twist and don't whine!
There are sorrows and oprich!
Well, stand in front of me
Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!

(Marusya claps her hands - two hefty fellows appear.)

When they understood the order -
Do it this very hour!

Don't hesitate -
Chai, it's not the first time!. .

funny buffoon

A little light Fedot - at the Tsar's gates. He came to the reception, and the deer received it. The king stabbed from anger on the left. Would crush the nits, but does not seem to mind. Sits, yawns - hides anger! .

Tea, are you tired? Good day!
Look out the window when not lazy!
You ordered deer -
Well, here's a deer for you!
And - notice! - horns on it
So they puff fire
From him without any lamp
At night it is as bright as day! .

Those deer - don't lie! -
Not in Tula or Tver.
What's in Tver - in Baghdad itself
There are at most three of them!
Now think, soldier, -
Where is Moscow, and where is Baghdad!
Ali you hit the night
To Baghdad and back?. .

Come on, vigorous louse!
And you don't like deer?
And yesterday he was publicaning his soul:
Take out the deer and lay it down! .
When you are already rich,
I will return it to Baghdad.
Who's in power there? -
That guy will be happy! .

You tell me, Fedka, stop it
Or with your head you will be apart!
I see your hints
Exceptionally through!
oh well, for the prestige
Don't you forgive the devil!
Here's a penny for vodka
And go wherever you want! .

funny buffoon

The king calls the general - even straight from under the covers. The general is in a panic, looking for underpants, he understands - they are not calling for gingerbread! The king sits on the throne - he is angry with the whole world. Black with anger, like a raven in a churchyard! .

No matter how hard you fought, my dear,
Fedot did not fall into the snare!
Already compiled about you
Official obituary.
You just need to decide
How to get back to you to decide:
Stun with a candelabra
Al pillow to suffocate?. .

I screwed up, my lord!
Here are those saber, if you want - hit it!
Only more of those Fedot
My brains are not turpentine!
What a fool - do not blame me!
I have a different mind!
I would go somewhere to attack.
Al to storm somewhere!. .

You are with a sword,
Just here's the FAQ:
Fedot must be defeated
Not with a sword, but with your head!
Well, you will be just as fast
How have you been until now,
I am you, cow face,
I'll put it under the ax myself! .

funny buffoon

Our fool again strained his mind. And there was that mind - small bins. I thought and thought - I didn’t think of anything. He whistled the dogs to the horde - and to Yaga in the oak forest. She saw that general - she jumped right up to the Urals. Yes, she came to her senses and returned: no matter how worse it turned out! .

You're out of your mind!
Out and a pimple on the lip!
Oh, you're wasting your health
In the political struggle!. .
Try rabbit litter!
He is vigorous! He will get through!
And where is the healing honey,
Even if it doesn't taste like honey.
It tastes cool though
And with him, it happens, they die,
But which ones survive?
They live to old age! .

You tell me, grandmother, do not twist!
You find ways!
You think like Fedot
Bring to the grave!
No matter how hard you fought, Yaga,
And it didn't work out!
Fedot got a deer -
Precious horns!
You blow your head
Yes, conjure more carefully.
Our archer, as it turned out,
Don't be so crazy! .

Actually, I'm smart
In the sense of the meanness of the inside,
Yes, tea to me today
Do not conjure in the morning!. .
Everything hurts and hurts
And in the chest it burns with fire! .
I've been suspecting for a long time
I have encephalitis! .
Oh, what a bad thing for me!
Do you hear the crunch in your back?
In a word, since such a thing -
I'm actually on the bulletin!

Got sick - no problem!
Eat the frog from the pond!
There is no reliable medicine
Than the natural environment!
You fool my brains
You can't even think!
Better than all your submissiveness
Get to work!
And you climb on the rampage -
I'll take my saber out of its scabbard!
Even though you are my friend,
And there must be order! .

Conjure, woman, conjure, grandfather,
Three on the side - yours are not there,
Ace of diamonds, pine coffin,
About the archer, give me an answer!
Let Fedot show agility
May you be able to get
That-Faq-On-White-Light -
Actually-Impossible-Be!
Well, Fedot, now hold on!
It's the right thing to say!
That's the entogo task
You will not fulfill a single life!. .

funny buffoon

The king of the archer is calling, a daring young man. Again, an order of state importance. When will this torment end! Meanwhile, the tale is far from the denouement! .

Try to get me
That-FAQ-Can't-Be!
Write down your name
So as not to forget in a hurry!
And you won’t do it by morning -
I'll grind you to powder
Because your carachter
I haven't been good for a long time!
So don't blow your lips
And let's get on the road!
State business -
Are you getting the point?

funny buffoon

Fedot came home - more terrible than death itself! White as chalk, face numb. Sat at the window - in the eyes of a veil. Manya rushed, and he - zero attention! . You will be sad if death is behind you! .

Well, pour out your soul to me,
Otchavo are you a hell of a lot?
Al in Milanese salad
Not enough truffles? .

I am yours, Marus, menu
I especially appreciate
Only my life, Marusya,
Lost in the bud!
What should I do? What do i do?. .
How can I get rid of my misfortune?
The king ordered me to deliver
That-FAQ-Not-Maybe!. .

Don't be sad and don't whine!
All you have to do is call out!
Well, stand in front of me
Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!
(Marusya claps her hands - two hefty fellows appear.)
When they understood the order -
Do it this very hour!
Pause.

Sorry hostess.
This is not about us!
If only shemku al drawing -
We'd start a spin
Well, so - look for as much as you want,
You'll find the devil!
Where to look and how to get
That-faq-can't-be?
After all, he is not in the world,
How much earth do not dig!. .

Do not seek, dear friend Fedot,
I don't have much income!
Know your fate, my love,
Go hiking yourself!
Do not wander abroad
Keep yourself clean.
Don't interfere in conversations
And don't make acquaintances!
Avoid empty haze
Avoid crooked roads
Think more about health
Eat sour cream and cottage cheese! .

You, Marus, don't be afraid!
Formed, Marus!
I will fulfill the royal task -
And I'll be back safe!
Don't be sad without me!
Water the ficus more often!
If you like - play the balalaika,
If you like - embroider on the hoop!
Well, such a one will turn up,
Who will disturb your peace -
I don't need to teach you
Frying pan at hand! .

funny buffoon

Fedot left for an overseas campaign. The general found out about that - he lost his last mind. Our trickster runs to the king in the palace - to report that the archer is finished. Already drilled a hole for the order, fat-faced! .

Is it good or bad news,
Report everything to me!
Better bitter but true
What a pleasant, but flattery!
Only if the ent is news
It will be again - not God knows,
You are for such truth
You can sit down for ten years! .

Well, nanny, come here,
Get to work -
Tear hair out of the crown
Those who are gray.
And what are not gray-haired,
Comb those in rows.
Yes, take it easy with a comb,
I don't have gardens there! .

Well scratch something, old devil,
When the bald head bakes ?!
You have every hair here
Must be registered! .
And what do you need
Wife at this age?
After all, you, as a man,
Sorry, worthless! .

Even though I'm hairless
And I must marry!
The Shah of Persia is also bald,
And he has forty wives!
I only want one
Get yourself a wife!
Something I am in an intimate sense
And I won't pull one? .

Duck at the Shah, you see,
There is a strength, and become,
And you, you dead cricket,
You can't see from under the crown!
Have you in your years
The strength is still not the same!
Save your health
After all, you are already over a hundred! .

Eka importance - more than a hundred!
If only the blood was thick!
They say love is submissive
Everything is literally age!
So, nanny, whatever you like,
And I'm good for business!
When all love is submissive,
Duck and I'm submissive too!. .

You, my friend, are one of those men
What is more harmless already:
They eat, they don't bite
Not to say isho worse!
To steal someone else's woman,
You have to have ardor and passion!
And now your task is
Do not enter the cemetery! .

King (general)

Well, you're silent
Do you strum medals?
Al don't you see how they rot
State prestige?
The nanny bends me into an arc,
And the minister - no gut!
You are on our defense
So fight back the enemy! .

Duck, after all, women's courts
About men are always thin!
Don't doubt yourself
You are a lover even where!
Proud profile, firm step,
From the back - duck a clean check!
Just move the crown to the side
So as not to hang on your ears! .

Tsar (nanny)

Here the minister is not my enemy,
Everything as it is said without a lie,
But he is a stupid man,
Don't look like he's a fool.
From you - one bedlam,
Shame on the king, embarrassment on the ambassadors!
I've been anti-rescuing for a long time
Are you not sent to us? .
Don't spy and don't harm
And if you dare - look:
We have a conversation with you
There will be a big one ahead!. .

funny buffoon

The king goes to Mane - to pay attention. He himself sits in the carriage, stinks of a decolon, behind the king the retinue - powdered, curled, behind the retinue a chest - gozinaki and hazelnuts. All honor for honor - the king is going to the bride! .

By order of the king
Fedka has departed for the seas!
In general, I left him
Melted, in other words!
In order not to live in poverty alone, -
Be my wife!
What about? . I am prominent man
And to the caress of a clockwork!. .

Isho Fedot did not have time
Take a step from the gate
And the crows have flown
To Fedotov's garden! .

You, girl, do not fool me!
They offer - take it!
Tea, to you not every evening
Widow kings are coming! .
This hour, I say
Come to the altar!
Crazy with delight
Duck sniff ammonia!

You're better, sir
Hit on others!
I care - wait for Fedot
Yes, look at the calendar!

That's it, girl, the rumors are false!
Waiting for the archer is a waste of time.
He's in some Hong Kong
Eats some mushroom-fruit!
You yourself, fool, weigh:
He is there, and you are here!
No now Fedot,
There was Fedot, but all came out!

Though whip me with a whip,
Even cut me with a sword -
Everything is your wife
I won't be nothing!

You, Marus, don't piss me off
And the conflict with me is not long!
Me the other day from Paris
The guillotine has arrived!
In the light of what I have said -
Better be my wife!
I've got nerves too
I'm not made of steel either!

Go away, hateful, away
And do not mind yourself as husbands!
You won't leave - yes I can and
Help with a frying pan!

Well, those at the door -
Hurry into her shackles!
Anto what kind of fashion isho -
Frying pans in the kings!
Here you will wash yourself in prison -
And get better in your mind!
How much are you, girl, don't be shy,
Let's get married in winter! .

Catch me, bastard
Lots of work needed!
Goodbye, my dear friend,
Maybe we'll see each other sometime! .
(Marusya turns into a dove and flies away.)

funny buffoon

Fedot sailed for almost a year. I ate halva, ate persimmon - but kept my mind in mind! Miracles in the world are like flies in a toilet, but the necessary miracle is not to be seen for the time being. Fedot is worried - time is running out! I decided without hysteria - I'll go to America! Fedot floats in the midst of endless waters, ahead is sunset, behind is sunrise. Suddenly, in the middle of the campaign, the weather turned bad. There was no misfortune - and on you, hello, the ship - fuck! - and fell apart!. . The storm subsided - Fedot opened his eyes: he lies on a wave, completely unharmed. He sees - the island sticks out like a float. I got to the shore, I thought - America. He took out a map, checked it - but no, not America! Buyan Island, be it cursed - maybe there is a flaw in the map ?! Fedot is sitting hiccuping, delving into the situation ...

How at the whim of the king
I did not swim across the seas, -
Haven't seen a lousy place
Frankly speaking!
Well, the island is just longing! -
All stone and sand.
And as long as the eye suffices -
No river, no line!
Yes, it wouldn't be a problem
If there was food here, -
If there was a swan here,
Duck would come down and a swan!. .

Who is hungry for food -
Let him come here:
I have a lot of food
I have her pounds!
Here, for example, get
Straight from the kalachi oven
Here's a roast turkey
Here is cherry plum compote!
Here are sausages, here are cheeses,
Here is half a centner of caviar,
Here are the Caribbean lobsters
Here are the Don sturgeons! .
(Tables with food appear.)

Anto what miracles?
Anto what kind of voices?
There's nowhere to hide
Okyan yes heaven!
Give, master, honor,
Show what you are!
Somehow indecent to the guest
Eat and drink alone!
Tea, on your island
It's more fun to be bored together -
Where do we scatter the cards?
Where will we pour a cup! .

I would be glad yes my portrait
It's a secret for me too!
I hesitate sometimes,
Whether I am, or not!. .
I have countless worries:
There is food, but nothing to eat,
There is tobacco, but there is nothing to sniff,
There is a bench, but nothing to sit on!
So tired for a thousand years
What is not a joy white light!
I thought it was to choke -
Again, no neck!

Hey meeting! That is,
I managed to get you
That-Faq-On-White-Light -
Actually-Impossible-Be!
What, yearning and blues,
Life to waste in vain -
Maybe you can swim with me
Before the racial king? .
Take a walk, freshen up
Make friends with the white light!
What a life without adventures -
Just awful, not life!. .

I am useful prospects
Never against!
I'm ready even for the bees in the hive,
If only only in co-op!
Give an order - and at least where,
At least for mining!
I will work hard for nothing,
No drink and no food!
I am good for any business,
I enter any door
I'll get you whatever you want
Even a savvy louse! .

Louse, it is, of course, well?
Wow, that's good too!
But on this insect
You won't swim far!
Get me a better fleet -
Ali boat, ali raft,
Since you are so skillful
In this case, a polyglot!
We are in the morning, at five o'clock,
Gotta be on the way
Because we are in Russia
Waiting already, come on!. .

funny buffoon

Meanwhile, the king does not waste time - he receives the ambassador of a cannibalistic tribe. London-Paris greased the skis, the tsar was left with thinner ambassadors! The tsar in front of the ambassador jumps like a goat: they say, here's your daughter, take her - and that's it! You know, things are really bad, since it has come to such a disaster! Well, okay, it happens even worse - if only the girl was with her husband! .

Good afternoon, happy hour!
We are glad to see you with us!
Take good, salam alaikum,
Bona sir, you ist das!
Who are you from?. . How old are you? .
Are you married or not?
Don't you want with our Fraulein
Chat tete-a-tete?

Before whom are you, old demon,
Are you breeding politeness here?
Your ambassador, I'm sorry
The third day is like a palm tree of tears!
If he had at least a cap on him, -
It wouldn't be such a mess
And on him from clothes -
Nothing but beads! .

You are a spy, that's a fact!
Whatever you blurt out - everything is out of tune!
You are with all abroad
I lost contact!
I've been waiting for messengers for years
And she them - from sentsov!
For whom, then, the princess
Give in the end?

You look him in the face
Ears apart, nose ring!
Yes, and the skin is all pockmarked,
Like a cuckoo egg! .
Even I - FAQ to hide? -
Don't go to bed with him!
Duck really our girl
Give for this? .

When chances are zero
Looking for gold in the ashes!
The girl is also in the sense of faces
Far from creme brulee!
Any one will do for her now -
Though humpbacked, even pockmarked,
Because like pockmarked
We are not bursting with a crowd!. .

Well, he's from the wild
What he sees, he eats!
Remember the topaz vase?
Gobbled up, Herod - that's the cross!
If only he asked, the villain,
Salmon and mushrooms -
Duck, after all, he eats FAQ,
From porcelain to nails!

No matter what he asks - he is visiting!
Bring everything to him in handfuls!
Tea, we have no shortage
Not in porcelain, not in nails?
If salmon disgusts him,
Let him eat whatever he wants.
Look at a full stomach
And seduce the princess! .

Yes, ambassadors - give them at least poison! -
Everyone will eat for free!
Maybe he's safe
But let them follow him!
You tell him, like a father-in-law:
Eat, they say, everything, but know, they say, honor!
Because he's on fire
And the princess can eat!

So that with this - yes, go out into the world?
Well, dummies! . Well, I do not!. .
He's so unassuming
Duck isho and cannibal!. .
Let him go, troglodyte,
Makes me all gold,
No reciprocal passion
He won't excite me!

You sent something call back
Yes, stay with him vis-a-vis
And be patient a little -
There will come to love!
If entot troglodyte
Your appearance will be seen, -
He will forever lose
An appetite for cannibalism! .

How much, dad, you are not noy, -
The choice is mine!
I'll get poisoned, but I won't
Cannibal wife!
But if it comes
With the proposal of Fedot, -
For me of the candidates
Anton will be the one!. .

Charged like a hoopoe -
Whatever the word - then Fedot!
Apart from Fedot, no
No sorrows, no worries!
Your Fedot is now at the bottom,
In the oceanic depths
And - since drowned -
Doesn't need a wife! .

When that's the way it is -
I refuse to eat!
Here's mine, papa
Political revenge!
I won't eat caviar
As usual, by the bucket, -
And on the basis of exhaustion
I'll get sick and die! .

Wherever you spit, wherever you poke, -
From ministers to relatives -
All solid freethinkers,
All pests are the same! .
Well, zhist - as much as a lump in the throat!
No sympathy for anyone!
Here I will find a forest more densely
And I'll be a forester! .
funny buffoon

A year has passed, another is coming - Fedot returned home. But there is no house, one skeleton sticks out, beams and rafters, and nettles all around. And under the eaves, a bird, a forest dove, curled up in a dove-gray lump ...

Come on, wifey, come on
Set the table for your husband!
Get me out of the oven
Blush loaf!
Pour vigorous cabbage soup
Fatter and thicker, -
I became skinny
From overseas vegetables!
Nobody in the whole house
Except the wind alone!
suspicious case,
Didn't the FAQ happen?
(The dove turns into Marusya.)

Welcome back, Fedot!
Your journey has been long!
Al forgot his Marusya,
Why didn't you drive for a whole year?
Abroad, go
Entertainment - a dime a dozen!
Looked, I suppose, girlfriend
Yes, warmed up on the chest! .

I saw white light
Josephine and Henriette
But beauties like you
Among them, Marusya, no!
And I went beyond the seas
Though for a long time, but not in vain -
Still completed the task
Cunning king! .

If only you knew, Fedot,
Who are you wasting sweat on?
Duck and would not take a step
From the native gates!
You left - he, shameful,
Started taking care of me
Persuaded, swindler,
Become a war wife!

Really?. . Ah, villain! .
Now believe in people
So stand for the honor of the uniform,
Here's to the service and glad!. .
oh well, I told him
I'll explain what's what!
I am him to the very heels
I will sign under Khokhloma! .
Stop making fools
From racial men!
I have nothing to lose now
Except your own shackles!

funny buffoon

Fedot got angry, called the honest people. The neighbors decided to help Fedya. Frol took the stake, Ustin took the drain, Ignat took the grip. And all behind Fedot to the Tsar's gates. The general will meet them, damn him! He jumped sideways, flashed his pupil, made a glance - and report to the king! .

Gathered there at the gate
Entot... like his... people!
In general, the case takes
Social turnover!
And it's all Fedot's fault,
Anto he stirs up the people, -
Inciting the population
Make a coup! .

Well, what are you doing with us,
With such a saber?
That's why we keep you
To keep the kings calm!
After rain on Thursday
I'll give isho a medal over,
Just try your best
So that the people do not overthrow me! .

Look, a medal! . A huge honor!. .
I have countless awards:
All hung like a Christmas tree
On the back - and then there are six of them! .
Keep you safe from harm
I have no reason now!
You are for your own meanness
You must answer yourself! .

funny buffoon

Fool out of fools, but how he spoke! Though the king is angry, but try hard! This is not the time to hit on the head. The tsar came out onto the porch, made a stern face, and in the square to the people - the whole of Russia is there!

Anto how, your mother,
I'm sorry, do you understand?
We are not some kind of storage,
To stir up confusion!
Who wants to Kolyma -
Come out one by one!
There you have the moment to come
Enlightenment in the mind!

As far as the mind is concerned,
He is very bright:
Thank God we distinguish
Forget-me-not shit!
Why do you hurry me
Sent over a hundred seas?
Is it not then to marry
On my wife? .

Anto where are you, villain,
Got ideas like this
To rivet FAQ
For decent people!
Does it suit me -
To pester your wife?. .
Here come you, morons,
On foreign tours! .

You don't get angry,
We are to you, tea, not for tea!
Well, you will race -
I'll go to the snout by chance!
About you, about the scoundrel,
Glory already in Cherepovets!
You are in the soul of all the people
Spat in my face!. .

In vain you, Fedya, for me
My people are my kindred.
I have no thoughts about the people
I can't live even a day! .
In the morning I smear a sandwich -
Immediately thought: what about the people?
And caviar does not climb into the throat,
And compote does not pour into your mouth!
I'll stand at the window at night
And I stand all night without sleep -
I'm all worried about Rasey,
How is she, poor thing?
And the culprit is the general,
Schemer and immoral!
Anto he, a cow's muzzle,
You have defiled the honor of the king!

What are you brothers? . I'm for you
Lost an eye in an attack!. .
Something when I dare
Against the masses!. .
I will justify. I will serve.
I will suffer. I'll do it.
To the oppressive top
I don't belong anymore! .
And the culprit is Yaga!
There is no more dangerous enemy!
Gorynych himself is in front of her -
So - not a snake, but a small fry!
Well, where are you, fidget?
Look people in the eyes!
Personally, I can't resist
I'll cut my saber twice! .

I am a folklore element
I have a document.
I can get away
Fly away at any moment!
For the heat, for the blizzard
Everyone scolds me, hag,
And there's no more harm in me
Than in a chamomile in a meadow!
Well, by chance, well, jokingly,
Went off the right track!
After all, I am a child of nature,
Let it be bad, but - a child!
Kohl to judge, duck those two,
My accomplices.
Anto I look like evil spirits,
And in fact cleaner than them!. .

Well, you are a cunning people -
Azhno take aback!
Everyone else thinks a freak,
Despite the fact that he is a freak.
At least racial people
To reprisal and not fierce,
But I have to, robyaty,
Make judgment on you.

Spare me, shooter!
I am a scoundrel! I am a scoundrel!
I will send myself to Voronezh,
I will send myself to Yelets! .
Just not on Magadan,
Anto is beyond my years:
Until I get there,
I'm afraid of oak ladies!

I acknowledge my guilt.
Meru. Degree. Depth.
And ask me to guide
for the current war.
No war - I will accept everything -
Link. Hard labor. Prison.
But preferably in July,
And preferably - in the Crimea.

And where are I, widow?
Is it just to Khiva!
I'm already on the edge -
Nowhere else! - live!. .
Me for the rest of the soul
Aunts would come!
Tama in the sense of medicine
Herbs are very good! .

We'll put you in a tub
Let's throw into the sea - and hell!
Get around and a bucket,
Don't give you a rook!
And carry you okian
Straight to the island on Buyan!
Well, so as not to go wild,
Here is my personal button accordion.
Really, it's my fault! -
Doesn't play dirty
But what, no,
And you need culture!

As for the king,
Let him go to sea.
I have war problems
Deep down to the lantern!
He is punished by fate
For deceit and robbery.
He is anto, damned ghoul,
Separated me from you!
Thank God finally
The usurper is finished
And now we can boldly
Go down the aisle! .

I'd be glad yes to me at home
Two spouses are useless!
Contact this topic
To an unmarried person! .

Have you lost your mind?
The fish swims in the net by itself!
Tea, not everyone is so happy
Gets free!
Ali think behind her
Few guys run?
On her list of candidates
There are not bad guys!
All with excitement in the blood
Waiting for the princess of love
Competition is like this
Straight at least the dust of their herbs!
Let's get married a little light
At once Turk, Greek and Swede, -
Duck from the threshold received
Negative answer!
And the poor archer
Arrogance is not at all appropriate.
Take away, fool, the princess
And drag her to the crown! .

I'm not a Turk or a Greek
I am a family man
And with my wife Marusya
I will never part!

So you can't help it
Burning maiden help?
But for the time being I am
After all, the queen's daughter!
When I don't get
I want a FAQ from you -
You will go away
Right into the clutches of the executioner!

Where are you - oh and hot! -
Will you find an executioner?
He, when dad was overthrown,
Immediately asked the shooter!
We now - keep in mind! -
You have to be in tune with the crowd:
Despotism is out of fashion now
Democracy is on the move.
Would you go away
In entot ... how is it ... in Brussels,
Once this happens,
Sorry carousel!
Forgive her, Fedot, -
She has a mess in her mind
She has thoughts from books
They stood back to front.
I read Dumas -
This is where I went crazy!
Get carried away a little -
Calm yourself down! .

Come on, princess, don't be sad!
And do not crunch with moss!
That our love did not come out, -
You forgive me for that!
But since I am indebted
I can't stay
I am to you in your misfortune -
How can I help!
I am from Tula to Torzhok
I'll rummage everything to the top,
Even from the bottom of the sea to you -
And I'll get a fiance!

I agree!. . Only all the same
Not any will please me.
I want such a husband
To look like you!
Whether he is a Swiss or a reaper,
Healer, baker al blacksmith, -
I have one condition:
Let him be your twin! .

I am your dream, my friend
I will definitely learn
Although such instances
Everything in Rasey counts.
As for the mind -
I don't have duplicates.
However, this, I hope
You noticed yourself.
Well, yes, the word of the young man
Still not thinner than cold:
Since I promised
I'll get my twin!
And now, honest people,
Get the faces out of the beards!
Tea, we do not have a memorial service,
Quite the contrary!
We no longer shed tears -
Sing songs and drink honey! .
Well, stand in front of me
That-FAQ-Not-Maybe!. .

I've been standing here for a long time
At the porch on the edge
I'm waiting for you to finish
Your meeting! .

Treat honest people
From overseas bounty!
Tea, they are such food
Spawning was not taken by mouth.
Offer them in reality
Samarkand halva,
And Turkish pistachios
And Persian quince!
Put everything on the tablecloth -
Chocolate and marmalade
And Dutch brisket
And Chukhonian servelat!
Don't forget the swiss cheese
The one that is full of holes!
Throw us a feast for glory,
Which the world has not seen!
Well, if anyone asks
Brazhki grams of commercials a hundred -
So be it!. . Today you can! .
Thank God, there is something!. .

funny buffoon

I was also at that feast, eating grainy caviar. I ate pilaf, Filat ate salad. Ustin ate galantine. And Fedot the Sagittarius ate a pickled cucumber. And as he ate a cucumber, then the fairy tale ends! And what a fairy tale is bad is the storyteller's fault. To catch a fool and give a cuff, but there is no way - after all, the narrator is a fool! And for centuries we have no trial for fools! .

send

cool

The tale `About Fedot the archer, a daring fellow` is the most famous work of Leonid Filatov, a tale in verse. Written in 1985, first published in the magazine `Youth` in 1986. The work immediately gained immense popularity. The use of fairy-tale characters, combined with Filatov's flamboyant speech and harsh satirical remarks, contributed to an unprecedented success.

The plot of the work is traditional for many Russian folk tales: the tsar, wanting to kill the archer and marry his wife, comes up with trials for the hero. The last test is an impossible task to go there, I don’t know where, to bring that - I don’t know what. The solution of this riddle by the lucky hero leads the king to the loss of the throne.
The traditional heroes of the work are the Tsar, the Commandant (General at Filatov), ​​Fedot the Sagittarius, his Wife (Marusya), Baba Yaga, Well Done Helpers (Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich), Shmat-Mind (Voice or That-Faqo-Ne- May be). In addition to the heroes of the fairy tale-source, Leonid Filatov introduces the Princess and the Nanny into the story.
Based on this work, many performances were staged in various theaters in Russia and the CIS, as well as films were made.

annotation

“In our writing country, they even write on the wall. So I came to the desire to be on an equal footing with everyone! So in a joking interview Leonid Filatov once explained why he suddenly took it and composed “About Fedot”. His fairy tales - brilliant, sparkling, lively - do not cease to amuse and delight us.

Leonid Filatov
About Fedot Sagittarius

Fairy tale for the theater
(Based on Russian folklore)

buffoon joker
Believe it or not, but Fedot lived in the world, an archer, a daring fellow. Fedot was not handsome, not ugly, not ruddy, not pale, not rich, not poor, not scab, not brocade, but just like that. Fedot's service is fishing and hunting. Tsar - game and fish, Fedot - thanks. Guests in the palace are like seeds in a cucumber. One from Sweden, another from Greece, the third from Hawaii - and give everyone something to eat! One - lobsters, another - squids, the third - sardines, and one getter! Once they give him an order: at a little light in the morning to come to the court. The king looks like a morel, a head with a fist, and the viciousness in him is an agromadic volume. He looks at Fedka like a canker looks at a radish. Fedka's shirt got wet from fear, there was a pounding in his temples, a growl in his belly, here, as they say, the fairy tale began ...

Tsar
Come to us for morning pickle
The English ambassador arrived
And we have snacks in the house
Half a humpback and a mosol.

Get ready, brother, go
Get us something to eat
Capercaillie al partridge,
Al isho someone.

You can't - who to blame?
I must execute you.
state business
Are you catching the thread?...

Fedot
Something I don't understand
With my mind? ...
Tea, I don’t sip cabbage soup,
I figure out what's what.

Turns out it's on me
All politics in the country:
I won't get a partridge
There must be war.

To the English ambassador
From hunger was not angry
I won't spare my head
I will provide a spread!…

buffoon joker
The word of the king is harder than crackers. If he sends for a bear - you go for a bear, but where to go - you have to, Fedya! Or game and fish - or a sword and a rack. Fedot walked around a hundred forests, a hundred swamps, but all in vain - not a partridge, not a capercaillie! Tired, no urine, and it's the night. Though with an empty bag, but it's time to go home. Suddenly he sees - a bird, a forest dove, sits, does not hide, is not afraid of a gun ...

Fedot
Here's the misfortune, here's the trouble
There is no sign of the game.
I'll shoot a dove
Whatever, yes food!

And generally speaking,
Pigeons are scolded in vain.
Pigeon - if in gravy
He is no worse than a capercaillie! ...

dove
You, Fedot, do not touch me,
Benefits in entom not a penny,
And you can't fill the pot
And don't stuff a pillow.

Tea, overseas gentleman
Likes fresh galantine
And what kind of meat is in me,
So, not meat, laughter alone! ...

Fedot
Whether the goblin is now zealous,
Is the air now drunk,
Whether it happened in the ear
What flaw do I have?

Either from the royal windows
Such a law was promulgated
For the birds to speak
Human language?...

dove
Do not create, Fedot, robbery,
And take me with you.
How do you bring me into the light
I will be your destiny.

I will sew, wash, cook,
Do not reproach for insults
And play the violin for you
And bedbugs to kill you! ...

Fedot
What a parable - I do not understand? ...
Okay, get in my bag! ...
There, on the spot, we'll figure it out
Who goes where and what's what!

buffoon joker
Fedot brought the turtledove to himself, which means, into the turtledove. Sits sadly, hung his little head. And there are serious reasons for the torment. The hunting of our Fedot did not go well. And the king does not like to joke - he will cut off his head at once. Fedot is sitting, sad, saying goodbye to the white light. I remembered about the bird, the forest dove. Look - and in the middle of the mountain, instead of that turtledove, there is a red-haired girl, slender as a tree! ...

Marusya
Hello, Fedya! ... You and me
We are now one family.

I am your wife, Marusya,
I am your wife.

Why are you silent, dear friend Fedot,
How do you pour water into your mouth? ...
Al is not the kokoshnik on me,
Al outfit on me is not the one? ...

Fedot
On you my soul
The century would look without breathing,
Just be your spouse
I don’t get a damn thing!…

I was none - a little dawn
At the reception of the king
Well, the king gave me a task
In a sense, it means capercaillie.

Even if it's not the season
There is no reason to argue with the authorities:
Okay, I think I'll get it
Tea, capercaillie, not bison.

I went through the whole day
And good luck - at least a shadow:
Not a single serious bird
It's all rubbish!…

And now to me, dear friend,
Not up to dancing on the meadow
Tomorrow is the king for this business
It cuts my head off.

And I'm like this for nothing
Not at work, not at home,
'Cause all my meaning
Exceptionally in the mind!…

Marusya
Don't twist and don't whine!
There will be a table and there will be game!
Well, stand in front of me
Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!

(Marusya claps her hands - two hefty fellows appear)

When you understand the order
Do it this very hour!

Well done
Don't hesitate,
Chai, it's not the first time!…

buffoon joker
And the king and the ambassador are already sitting at the table. Next - you look ka! - princess and nanny. And everyone is waiting for the promised food from Fedya. What is a conversation without a hearty lunch? And the table is empty: carrots and cabbage, dill and parsley - that's the whole feast. The guest is bored, he shakes his boots, he studies the holes on the tablecloth. The tsar gets angry, does not notice how he calls Fedka after his mother. Suddenly - as if from the sky: a loaf of bread, a bucket caviar, a stewed turkey, sturgeon's ear, veal giblets - and such food has names up to a thousand! With such food - how not to be a conversation! ...

Tsar
Causes antires
Your technical progress:
How do you sow swede there
With peel or without? ...

Ambassador
Yes!

Tsar
Causes antires
Your nutritional process:
How do you drink cocoa there
With or without saccharin?

Ambassador
Yes!

Tsar
Causes antires
And such isho cut:
How do you women go there
In pantaloons or without?

Ambassador
Yes!

Nurse
I would be embarrassed at least to send an ambassador! ...
Al completely weakened his head? ...
Wherever they say
All one will bring to the women!

Tsar
Are you back to your own tune?
I'll go to jail, mind you!
I'm not just a prankster
I'm in politics!

Evon girl grew up
And skinny, like half an oar!
So I'm thinking how to give out
Our steal for the ambassador!

Only need to benefit
To lure him not angry
Making subtle hints
Nevsuryez and from afar.

Nurse
Yes for this ambassador
Even I wouldn't go
So it glares, bastard,
To wipe off the table!

He gives you all "Yes" yes "yes"
Meanwhile, everything eats and eats.
Turn away - he is the floor of Raseya
Swallow in one sitting!

Tsar
Ali shut your mouth
I'll kick Ali out!
You scared me so
All overseas attaches!

Dave was a Gishpan grandee,
Already a dandy, already a dandy!
Diamond in each ear
What is not an option for you?

Well you arranged for a guest
Inadvertently sat on a nail,
And otsedova at the guest
Political rage!…

Nurse
How, I remember! ... Entot grand
Was to devour a great talent:
With his head he climbed into the plate,
Already smeared with fat bow!

Don't ask the grandee
He is like an ass - "si" yes "si",
Well, everything leans
Ivasi herring!

Tsar
I am for your line
I will rot you at the root!
I'm not joking with you
I'm serious!

Baron from Germany
Was good in every way
Duck and here did not resist
Damaged him.

Who to him at the bottom of the bucket
Dropped a dead mouse?
You're a real pest
Cursed soul!…

Nurse
Yes, this is your baron
Was cracking bad!
Throw him in a flock of crows
He will also take away from the crows.

Proud in appearance - “I am a” yes “I am a”,
And gluttonous as a pig
Give straw - eat straw,
Tea, someone else's, not one's own! ...

Tsar
Well, spy, give it time
I'll take you to prison!
So I'm not a bad guy
But strict with pests.

Here answer me - do not waste words!
Where can the princess get a husband?
Tea, yourself, fool, you see
She has no suitors!

If only a regiment crowded here
There would be sense in arguing,
Well, no - grab anyone
Even if he was a Bryansk wolf! ...

Princess
If you are in power in Russia,
Duck and rule Raseya to your heart's content,
And don't poke your nose into my fate
And don't get into my love!

In the house of entih attache
A hundred pieces per floor,
Me from their cologne
Can't even breathe!…

Tsar
If love is really evil,
You will also love the ambassador.
And at the same time you will correct me
And trading business.

I'm under this antires
I will fuse stump and wood for them,
All society agrees
You're the only one going against the grain!…

Tsar evna
No matter how you raise your eyebrow
I repeat again and again:
The individual has the right
For free love!

Maybe it's finally
And it would come to the rings,
If he suddenly betrothed me
Your Fedotushko archer! ...

Tsar
Hush, you fool!... Shut up!...
Test place by the oven!
Well, march to your room
And learn solfeggia!

And the damn archer
Insolent and scoundrel,
I am whips and batogs
At once I will dare from the palace! ...

buffoon joker
The king had a general, he collected information. Hide his face in his beard - and walk around the city. Sniffing out, dog, thinking otherwise. He overhears conversations: what if there are conspirators in the country? Where he hears a FAQ, he writes it down in a book. And at seven exactly - to the king for a report.

Tsar
What's wrong, General?
Ali fell ill with measles,
Ali got drunk with alcohol,
Did Ali lose cards?

Ali service is not nice,
Ali's army is small,
Ali found in the cannon
Barrel damage?

Report without any bullshit
Why is there darkness in my heart
I want to know in detail
Who, where, FAQ and how!…

General
I was with the archer,
Fedot has a daredevil,
How I saw his wife
So he blurted out from the porch.

The third day - I'm not lying to her!
I do not take a saber in my hands,
And such a dream
What the hell, I'll die!

And the other day there was a sin
Almost made up a poem
The doctors got scared
They say: love shock! ...

Tsar
The archer has bypassed me!…
But he knew that I was a widower!
Well, in a moment I steal ent
I'll deliver to the palace!

And the insidious archer
This time to wipe from the face,
So that he doesn't flinch
Near our porch!…

General
Snatching her is not hard,
Yes, the people are painfully cool:
How do they know whose idea,
They will grind you to powder!

The people have become bold now,
Don't put your finger in their mouth
We do not favor Fedot,
And the people - on the contrary!

Tsar
You are such a fool
On Saturdays, how is it?
I owe something to the minister
To explain such a trifle?

So that the worst about the king
The people did not talk in vain,
Act strictly according to the law
That is, act ... on the sly.

Well, I'm right here
I will reward you for your work:
Blacksmiths are given a task
The order will be shackled by tomorrow! ...

buffoon joker
The whole day the general gathered his mind into a fist. All kumekal in the sweat of his face - how to get rid of the archer. Yes, in the head of the thought sour from the strain. I remembered at my leisure about an old friend, Baba Yaga, a bone leg. I go to her, she is smarter! ... And that middle of the oak forest collects herbs, cooks all kinds of poisons. As I saw the general, I lost all herbariums. I missed you in the wilderness without a soul mate! ...

Baba Yaga
You are not yourself
Not ruddy, not alive!…
Ali Swede near Petersburg,
Ali Turk near Moscow?…

Eat aspen bark
And cheer up for the time being:
Tea, not what chemistry,
Tea, natural gifts!

In her juice, general,
There is a useful mineral
From him of the generals
None of them died!…

General
Enough, grandma! ... I'm not sick! ...
Let's go over the hill! ...
Shake hedgehogs and squirrels,
There is a serious conversation.

Here we have one archer
Very literate, bastard! ...
Here is my assignment
Let him know at the end!

But how? cut off the head
Duck the rumor will start to blow! ...
Can you help with advice?
What's the smartest way to destroy him?

Baba Yaga
Conjure, woman, conjure, grandfather,
Three on the side - yours are not there,
Ace of diamonds, pine coffin,
About the archer, give me an answer!

If he is so zealous and quick,
That with the king enters into an argument,
Let him get it by tomorrow
Carpet embroidered with gold.

To be visible on it
As on the map, the whole country.
Well, if it doesn't,
That is the getter of wine! ...

General
Hey grandma! Hey special!
That's the end of the hassle!
At least take you out of the stupa
Yes, the minister to the palace!

None with the Germans,
Is it far from disaster?
And with you I'm ready
Though in intelligence, even where!

I pay good for good:
He likes - a marten, he likes - a beaver,
And if you don’t want it, I can with a coin,
Gold or silver! ...

Baba Yaga
Completely, dove, do not sin,
Take away your money
I'm not for money,
I'm ento for the soul.

There will be a new problem
Hurry right here.
Tea, and we are not animals in the forest,
Tea, we will always help! ...

buffoon joker
The king of the archer is calling, a daring young man. Isho did not give the task, and already angry in advance. He twists his hands, knocks with his feet, rotates his eyes, in general, frightens. He really wants to lime Fedot, which is right in the bones of the ache! ...

Tsar
Get a carpet in the morning
Embroidered with gold pattern!…
state business,
Break up, but be kind!

To be visible on it
As on the map, the whole country,
Because I'm from the balcony
No fucking review!

You won't find it, I want to
I'll shorten my head
I will hand you over with the dawn
Right into the clutches of the executioner!

Joker
Fedot came home, mute from grief. He sat down in a corner, looked up at the ceiling, and clouded his clear eyes with tears. Manya calls to eat, but he bullies his neck, does not want to, he sulks and whimpers ...

Marusya
Are you angry as a hedgehog?
Do you eat or drink?
Ali porridge burned,
Ali jelly is not good?

Fedot
What kind of food is there!
The king is fierce - it's a disaster!
No on this villain
No government, no court!

Get it, screaming, carpet,
gold embroidered pattern,
The width of the whole of Russia,
A hundred forests and a hundred lakes!…

Marusya
Don't twist and don't whine!
Let the old bastard rage!
Well, stand in front of me
Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich! ...

When you understand the order
Do it this very hour!

Well done
Don't hesitate,
Tea, it's not the first time!

buffoon joker
The next morning Fedot is at the Tsar's gates. I came to the reception, and I accepted the carpet. It is worth smiling, the guards are not afraid. The king was surprised, he even choked on his caviar. Anger sharpens him, but does not want to show. Makes a look that seems to be happy!…

Fedot
You asked for a carpet yesterday
Well, I got him.
Everything according to the contract
Both drawing and color.

All Raseyushka is full
Reflected on the carpet.
This carpet is a gift to you
My wife wove!…

Tsar
Ay suck! Oh yeah grab!
How many are you married to?
Ali you betrothed immediately
One-piece weaving mill?

You, Fedot, have a wife
Though smart, but still alone!
And to weave this overnight
Their division is needed!…

Fedot
Al carpet does not please the eye?
Al is not the one in the carpet pattern?
Well, I'm under his arm
Yes, the conversation is over!

So that not in vain the abyss of labor,
I will sell it to merchants,
And let him out of Russia
Sailing to Amsterdam!…

Tsar
I would beat you with whips,
Four or five
So that you don't freak out
Over serious people!

But since I am calm
I respect order and law,
Here's a penny for vodka
And get out of here!...

buffoon joker
The king calls the general, pin him in the visor! The king's face looks like a beet, and when he is red, he is dangerous at hand. It hits, infection, no more than once, but it does not miss the eye. Ento General checked on himself: from the beginning of the tale he walks in a bandage! ...

Tsar
Well, brother, what is the result?
Freaked out?
Only this bit will pull
About five years old!

You are broad in our shoulders,
And the head is completely withered.
Here you go and fix it
On state-owned grubs! ...

General
Take me to prison
For any period
All the same, this science
It won't work for me, fool, for the future!

I would like a saber and a horse
Yes, to the line of fire!
And palace intrigues
Anthony is not about me!

Tsar
You to me, your honor,
Throw a fever then smack!
You figure out how without a saber
We Fedot to overcome!

Well, you'll be a fool
Do not look for fault in anyone:
I'll clean your snout
Personally entim fist!…

buffoon joker
In vain the general rubbed his hands: it did not work out from the raid - to destroy Fedot. Again, the poor fellow's head is in tension. And in the head - listen! - Well, at least a thought! I thought I thought, I didn't think anything. No matter how you turn it, you can’t do without Yagi! I went back to the oak forest - to look for justice on Fedka! ...

Baba Yaga
Are you gloomy again?
What is the cause, who is to blame?
Al Gishpan is chasing
Al guardsuz went to war?

Here is jelly from the mold!
Tea, have you tried it yet?
Duck drink - and immediately forget
About the mundane carousel!

It doesn't taste so good
But it takes away the shivers
You'll be healthy tomorrow
Unless you die...

General
I'm talking about the shooter again!
There is no end to my trouble!
That's why I'm sick
That's why he slept off his face.

Why, scoundrel, cunning
All around wiped their noses!
No matter how much you did not conjure,
And he got that carpet!

Even though he looks like a simpleton,
And cook a master with your head,
So henceforth conjure more seriously,
With feeling, so your rastak!

Baba Yaga
Conjure, woman, conjure, grandfather,
Three on the side - yours are not there,
Ace of diamonds, pine coffin,
About the archer, give me an answer!

So!… Ege!… Uh-huh!… Aha!…
Here is what Yaga found out:
Let him find you a deer,
So that horns of gold! ...

Search the whole wide world
There are none in nature!
Anto I am to you, blue,
I speak as a local historian! ...

buffoon joker
The king of the archer is calling, a daring young man. Before our Fedot had time to wipe the sweat off his face, the king of the villain had a new idea. The tsar seethes with ideas, and Fedka sweats! In general, Fedka's life is worse than a bitter radish! ...

Tsar
Well, throw off the blues and laziness
And - on the road this very day!
state business
I desperately need a deer!

When you are the king's servant
Go over the mountains, over the meadows
And find me a deer there,
So that the horns are made of gold.

Do not gundi and do not cross,
And go and provide
And not at the moment you know
How the head flies off the shoulders! ...

buffoon joker
Fedot came home, snot - fringe! He sat down in front of the torch in an embrace with the torment. The beautiful wife throws herself on her neck, but he does not touch his wife! Sitting, crying - grieving, that means! ...

Marusya
Are you looking like an owl?
Al are you freaking out about what?
Al in the hodgepodge there is little salt,
Al steak underperformed?

Fedot
What a lunch!
The king tortured - no save!
In the morning it will be necessary again
Before him to answer!

Entot the king of the fierce enemy
Sends me on the run again:
Find, screaming, deer,
So that horns of gold! ...

Marusya
Don't twist and don't whine!
There are sorrows and oprich!
Well, stand in front of me
Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!

(Marusya claps her hands - two hefty fellows appear.)

When you understand the order
Do it this very hour!

Well done
Don't hesitate to
Chai, it's not the first time!…

buffoon joker
A little light Fedot - at the Tsar's gates. He came to the reception, and the deer received it. The king stabbed from anger on the left. Would crush the nits, but does not seem to mind. Sits, yawns - hides anger! ...

Fedot
Tea, are you tired? Good day!
Look out the window when not lazy!
You ordered deer
Well, here's a deer for you!

And - notice! - horns on it
So they puff fire
From him without any lamp
At night it is as bright as day!…

Tsar
Those deer - don't lie!
Not in Tula or Tver.
What's in Tver - in Baghdad itself
There are at most three of them!

Now think, soldier
Where is Moscow, and where is Baghdad!
Ali you hit the night
To Baghdad and back?…

Fedot
Come on, vigorous louse!
And you don't like deer?
And yesterday he was publicaning his soul:
Take out the deer and lay it down! ...

When you are already rich
I will return it to Baghdad.
Who's in power there?
Then the guy will be happy! ...

Tsar
You tell me, Fedka, stop it
Or with your head you will be apart!
I see your hints
Exceptionally through!

oh well, for the prestige
Don't you forgive the devil!
Here's a penny for vodka
And go wherever you want! ...

buffoon joker
The king calls the general - even straight from under the covers. The general is in a panic, looking for underpants, he understands - they are not calling for gingerbread! The king sits on the throne - he is angry with the whole world. Black with anger, like a raven in a graveyard! ...

Tsar
No matter how hard you fought, my dear,
Fedot did not fall into the snare!
Already compiled about you
Official obituary.

You just need to decide
How to get back to you to decide:
Stun with a candelabra
Al with a pillow to suffocate? ...

General
I screwed up, my lord!
Here are those saber, if you want - hit it!
Only more of those Fedot
My brains are not turpentine!

What a fool - do not blame me!
I have a different mind!
I would go somewhere to attack.
Al to storm somewhere! ...

Tsar
You are fighting with a sword,
Just here's the FAQ:
Fedot must be defeated
Not with a sword, but with your head!

Well, you will be just as fast
How have you been until now?
I am you, cow face,
I'll put it under the ax myself! ...

buffoon joker
Our fool again strained his mind. And there was that mind - small bins. I thought I thought - I didn’t think of anything. He whistled the dogs to the horde - and to Yaga in the oak forest. She saw that general - she jumped right up to the Urals. Yes, she came to her senses and returned: no matter how worse it turned out! ...

Baba Yaga
You're out of your mind!
Out and a pimple on the lip!
Oh, you're wasting your health
In the political struggle!...

Try rabbit litter!
He is vigorous! He will get through!
And where is the healing honey,
Even if it doesn't taste like honey.

It tastes cool though

And with him, it happens, they die,
But which ones survive
They live to old age! ...

General
You tell me, grandmother, do not twist!
You find ways!
You think like Fedot
Bring to the grave!

No matter how hard you fought, Yaga,
And it didn't work out!
Fedot got a deer
Precious horns!

You blow your head
Yes, conjure more carefully.
Our archer, as it turned out,
Don't be so crazy!…

Baba Yaga
Actually, I'm smart
In the sense of the meanness of the inside,
Yes, tea then me today
Do not conjure in the morning! ...

Everything hurts and hurts
And in the chest it burns with fire! ...
I've been suspecting for a long time
I have encephalitis!

Oh, it's bad for me!
Do you hear the crunch in your back?
In a word, since such a thing
I'm actually on the bulletin!

General
Got sick - no problem!
Eat the frog from the pond!
There is no reliable medicine
Than the natural environment!

You fool my brains
You can't even think!
Better than all your submissiveness
Get to work!

And you will climb on rampage
I'll take my saber out of its scabbard!
Even though you are my friend,
And there must be order! ...

Baba Yaga
Conjure, woman, conjure, grandfather,
Three on the side - yours are not there,
Ace of diamonds, pine coffin,
About the archer, give me an answer!

Let Fedot show agility
May you be able to get
That FAQ In The White World
Actually Can't Be!

Well, Fedot, now hold on!
It's the right thing to say!
That's the entogo task
You will not fulfill a single life! ...

buffoon joker
The king of the archer is calling, a daring young man. Again, an order of state importance. When will this torment end! Meanwhile, the fairy tale is far from the denouement! ...

Tsar
Try to get me
That FAQ Can't Be!
Write down your name
So as not to forget in a hurry!

And you won't do it in the morning
I'll grind you to powder
Because your carachter
I haven't been good for a long time!

So don't blow your lips
And let's get on the road!
state business
Are you getting the point?

buffoon joker
Fedot came home - more terrible than death itself! White as chalk, face numb. Sat at the window - in the eyes of a veil. Manya rushed, and he - zero attention! ... You will be sad if death is behind you! ...

Marusya
Well, pour it out to my soul,
Otchavo are you a hell of a lot?
Al in Milanese salad
Not enough truffles?…

Fedot
I am yours, Marus, menu
I especially appreciate
Only my life, Marusya,
Lost in the bud!

What should I do? What do i do?…
How can I get rid of my misfortune?
The king ordered me to deliver
That FAQ Can't Be!…

Marusya
Don't be sad and don't whine!
All you have to do is call out!
Well, stand in front of me
Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!

(Marusya claps her hands - two hefty fellows appear.)

When you understand the order
Do it this very hour!

Well done
Sorry hostess.
This is not about us!

If only shemku al drawing
We'd start a spin
Well, so - look for as much as you want,
You'll find the devil!

Where to look and how to get
That FAQ Can't Be?
After all, he is not in the world,
How many earth do not dig! ...

Marusya
Do not seek, dear friend Fedot,
I don't have much income!
Know your fate, my love,
Go hiking yourself!

Do not wander abroad
Keep yourself clean.
Don't interfere in conversations
And don't make acquaintances!

Avoid empty haze
Avoid crooked roads
Think more about health
Eat sour cream and cottage cheese!…

Fedot
You, Marus, don't be afraid!
Formed, Marus!
I will fulfill the royal task
And I'll be back safe!

Don't be sad without me!
Water the ficus more often!
If you like - play the balalaika,
If you like - embroider on the hoop!

Well, such a one will turn up,
Who will disturb your peace
I don't need to teach you
Frying pan at hand!…

buffoon joker
Fedot left for an overseas campaign. The general found out about that - he lost his last mind. Our trickster runs to the king in the palace - to report that the archer is finished. Already drilled a hole for the order, fat face! ...

Tsar
Is it good or bad news?
Report everything to me!
Better bitter but true
What a pleasant, but flattery!

Only if the ent is news
It will be again - not God knows,
You are for such truth
You can sit down for ten years! ...

General
I report: a little dawn
Fedka raised the anchors!
Thank God, got rid of
From him, from the ghoul!

Tsar
Well, nanny, come here,
Get to work
Tear hair out of the crown
Those who are gray.

And what are not gray-haired,
Comb those in rows.
Yes, take it easy with a comb
I don't have gardens there!…

Nurse
Well, scratch it, old devil,
When the bald head bakes ?!
You have every hair here
Must be registered!…

And what do you need
Wife at this age?
After all, you, as a man,
Sorry, worthless!…

Tsar
Even though I'm hairless
And I must marry!
The Shah of Persia is also bald,
And he has forty wives!

I only want one
Get yourself a wife!
Something I am in an intimate sense
And I won’t pull one? ...

Nurse
Duck at the Shah, you see,
There is a strength, and become,
And you, you dead cricket,
You can't see it from under the crown!

Have you in your years
The strength is still not the same!
Save your health
After all, you are already over a hundred! ...

Tsar
Eka importance - more than a hundred!
If only the blood was thick!
They say love is submissive
Everything is literally age!

So, nanny, whatever you like,
And I'm good for business!
When all love is submissive,
Duck and I am humble too! ...

Nurse
You, my friend, are one of those men
What is more harmless already:
They eat, they don't bite
Not to say isho worse!

To steal someone else's woman,
You have to have ardor and passion!
And now your task
Do not go to the cemetery! ...

King (general)
Well, you're silent
Do you strum medals?
Al don't you see how they rot
State prestige?

The nanny bends me into an arc,
And the minister - no gut!
You are on our defense
So fight back the enemy! ...

General
Duck, after all, women's courts
About men are always thin!
Don't doubt yourself
You are a lover even where!

Proud profile, firm step,
From the back - duck a clean check!
Just move the crown to the side
So as not to hang on your ears! ...

Tsar (nanny)
Here the minister is not my enemy,
Everything as it is said without a lie,
But he is a stupid man,
Don't look like he's a fool.

From you - one bedlam,
Shame on the king, embarrassment on the ambassadors!
I've been anti-rescuing for a long time
You are not sent to us? ...

Don't spy and don't harm
And if you dare - look:
We have a conversation with you
There will be a big one ahead!…

buffoon joker
The king goes to Mane - to pay attention. He himself sits in the carriage, stinks of a decolon, behind the king the retinue - powdered, curled, behind the retinue a chest - gozinaki and hazelnuts. All honor for honor - the king is going to the bride! ...

Tsar
By order of the king
Fedka has departed for the seas!
In general, I left him
Melted, in other words!

In order not to live in poverty alone,
Be my wife!
A FAQ? ... I'm a prominent man
And to the caress of a clockwork! ...

Marusya
Isho Fedot did not have time
Take a step from the gate
And the crows have flown
To Fedotov's garden!...

Tsar
You, girl, do not fool me!
They offer - take it!
Tea, to you not every evening
Widowed kings are coming!…

This hour, I say
Come to the altar!
Crazy with delight
Duck sniff ammonia!

Marusya
You're better, sir
Hit on others!
I care - wait for Fedot
Yes, look at the calendar!

Tsar
Enough, girl, - the rumors lie!
Waiting for the archer is a waste of time.
He's in Hong Kong
Eats some mushroom fruit!

You yourself, fool, weigh:
He is there, and you are here!
No now Fedot,
There was Fedot, but all came out!

Marusya
Though whip me with a whip,
Even cut me with a sword,
Everything is your wife
I won't be nothing!

Tsar
You, Marus, don't piss me off
And the conflict with me is not long!
Me the other day from Paris
The guillotine has arrived!

In the light of what I have said
Better be my wife!
I've got nerves too
I'm not made of steel either!

Marusya
Go away, hateful, away
And do not mind yourself as husbands!
You won't leave - yes I can and
Help with a frying pan!

Tsar
Well, those at the door
Hurry into her shackles!
Anto what is this fashion
Frying pans in the kings!

Here you go to jail
And get better in your mind!
How much are you, girl, don't be shy,
Let's get married by winter!

Marusya
Catch me, bastard
Lots of work needed!
Goodbye, my dear friend,
Maybe we'll see each other sometime...

(Marusya turns into a dove and flies away.)
buffoon joker
Fedot sailed for almost a year. I ate halva, ate persimmon - but kept my mind in mind! Miracles in the world are like flies in a toilet, but the necessary miracle is not to be seen for the time being. Fedot is worried - time is running out! I decided without hysteria - I'll go to America! Fedot floats in the midst of endless waters, ahead is sunset, behind is sunrise. Suddenly, in the middle of the campaign, the weather turned bad. There was no misfortune - and on you, hello, the ship - fuck! - and fell apart! ... The storm subsided - Fedot opened his eyes: he lies on a wave, completely unharmed. He sees - the island sticks out like a float. I got to the shore, I thought - America. He took out a map, checked it - but no, not America! Buyan Island, be it cursed - maybe there is a flaw in the map ?! Fedot is sitting hiccuping, delving into the situation ...

Fedot
How at the whim of the king
I didn't swim across the seas
Haven't seen a lousy place
Frankly speaking!

Well, the island is just longing!
All stone and sand.
And as long as the eye
No river, no line!

Yes, it wouldn't be a problem
If there was food here,
If there was a swan here,
Duck would come down and quinoa! ...

Here, for example, get
Straight from the kalachi oven
Here's a roast turkey
Here is cherry plum compote!

Here are sausages, here are cheeses,
Here is half a centner of caviar,
Here are the Caribbean lobsters
Here are the Don sturgeon!…

(Tables with food appear.)

Fedot
Anto what miracles?
Anto what kind of voices?
There's nowhere to hide
Okyan yes heaven!

Give, master, honor,
Show what you are!
It's indecent as a guest
Eat and drink alone!

Tea, on your island
It's more fun to be bored together
Where do we scatter the cards?
Where will we pour a cup! ...

I have countless worries:
There is food, but nothing to eat,
There is tobacco, but there is nothing to sniff,
There is a bench, but nothing to sit on!

So tired for a thousand years
What is not a joy white light!
Thought it was choking
Again, no neck!

Fedot
Hey meeting! That is,
I managed to get you
That FAQ In The White World
Actually Can't Be!

What, yearning and blues,
Life to waste in vain
Maybe you can swim with me
To the racial king?...

Take a walk, freshen up
Make friends with the white light!
What is life without adventures
Just awful, not life!…

Give an order - and at least where,
At least for mining!
I will work hard for nothing,
No drink and no food!

I am good for any business,
I enter any door
I'll get you whatever you want
Even a shod louse! ...

Fedot
Louse, it is, of course, well?
Wow, that's good too!
But on this insect
You won't swim far!

Get me a better fleet
Ali boat, ali raft,
Since you are so skillful
In this case, a polyglot!

We are in the morning, at five o'clock,
Gotta be on the way
Because we are in Russia
Waiting already, come on!…

buffoon joker
Meanwhile, the king does not waste time - he receives the ambassador of a cannibalistic tribe. Londons, Parises greased their skis, the tsar was left with thinner ambassadors! The tsar in front of the ambassador jumps like a goat: they say, here's your daughter, take her - and that's it! You know, things are really bad, since it has come to such a disaster! Well, okay, it happens even worse - if only the girl was with her husband! ...

Tsar
Good afternoon, happy hour!
We are glad to see you with us!
Take good, salam alaikum,
Bona sir, you ist das!

Who are you from?… How old are you?…
Are you married or not?
Don't you want with our Fraulein
Pokalyakat tete and tete?

Nurse
Before whom are you, old demon,
Are you breeding politeness here?
Your ambassador, I'm sorry
The third day is like a palm tree of tears!

At least wear a cap,
It wouldn't be such a mess
And on it from clothes
Nothing but beads!…

Tsar
You are a spy, that's a fact!
Whatever you blurt out - everything is out of tune!
You are with all abroad
I lost contact!

I've been waiting for messengers for years
And she them - from sentsov!
For whom, then, the princess
Give in the end?

Nurse
You look him in the face
Ears apart, nose ring!
Yes, and the skin is all pockmarked,
Like a cuckoo egg!…

Even I - FAQ to hide?
Don't go to bed with him!
Duck really our girl
For such a give? ...

Tsar
When chances are zero
Looking for gold in the ashes!
The girl is also in the sense of faces
Far from creme brulee!

Any one will do for her now
Though humpbacked, even pockmarked,
Because like pockmarked
We are not bursting with a crowd! ...

Nurse
Well, he's from the wild
What he sees, he eats!
Remember the topaz vase?
Gobbled up, Herod, - that's the cross!

If only he asked, the villain,
Salmon and mushrooms
Duck, after all, he eats FAQ,
From porcelain to nails!

Tsar
No matter what he asks - he is visiting!
Bring everything to him in handfuls!
Tea, we have no shortage
Not in porcelain, not in nails?

If salmon disgusts him,
Let him eat whatever he wants.
Look, on a full stomach
And he will seduce the princess! ...

Nurse
Yes, ambassadors - give them at least poison!
Everyone will eat for free!
Maybe he's safe
But let them follow him!

You tell him, like a father-in-law:
Eat, they say, everything, but know, they say, honor!
Because he's on fire
And the princess can eat!

Princess
So that with this - yes, go out into the world?
Well, pipes! ... Well, no! ...
He's so unassuming
Duck isho and cannibal!…

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at the rental c: 01.01.1988

About Fedot-Sagittarius, a daring fellow

at the rental c: 01.01.1988

Legendary and ingenious work. V best quality. "The Tale of Fedot - an archer, a daring young man" - a cult Russian fairy tale performed by the author - Leonid Filatov. "In our writing country, they even write on the wall. So the desire came to me to be on an equal footing with everyone!" This is how Leonid Filatov once explained in a playful interview why he suddenly took it and composed "About Fedot". Solo performance by Leonid Filatov is a real folk tale. She broke into proverbs that are pronounced without knowing that they are quoting Filatov. This fairy tale is brilliantly written by the poet Leonid Filatov and no less brilliantly told by the actor Leonid Filatov. His works, sparkling and lively, never cease to amuse and delight us, and Leonid Filatov entered the history of Russian art forever.

A+A-

Fedot the Sagittarius - Russian folk tale

The tale tells the story of Fedot the Archer, who shot the wing of a dove, and she turned out to be a beautiful girl. Fedot married, lived happily. And the king saw the girl, fell in love with her and thought up Fedot lime. Yes, only Fedot was not a miss ... The tale in terms of plot is similar to the tale "Go there - I don't know where, bring it - I don't know what."

Fedot-Sagittarius read

In a certain kingdom there lived a king - single, unmarried, and he had a whole company of archers; archers went hunting, shot migratory birds, supplied the sovereign's table with game.

A fine archer named Fedot served in that company; he hit the target accurately, almost never gave a miss, and for that the king loved him more than all his comrades.

It happened to him at one time to go hunting early, very early, at the very dawn; he went into a dark, dense forest and saw: a turtledove was sitting on a tree. Fedot pointed his gun, took aim, fired and broke the bird's wing; a bird fell from a tree onto the damp ground. The shooter lifted it up, wants to tear off his head and put it in a bag, - and the dove will say to him: “Ah, well done archer, don’t tear off my violent little head, don’t take me out of the white world; better take me alive, bring me to your house, put me on the window and look: as soon as drowsiness comes over me, at that very time hit me with your right hand backhand and you will get yourself great happiness! The shooter was surprised. "What's happened? - thinks. - It looks like a bird, but it speaks with a human voice! This has never happened to me before…”

He brought the bird home, put it on the window, and he himself stands and waits. A little time passed, the turtledove put her head under her wing and dozed off; the shooter raised his right hand, hit it backhand lightly - the turtledove fell to the ground and became a soul-maiden, but so beautiful that you can’t think of it, you can’t imagine it, you can only tell in a fairy tale. There was no other beauty like it in the whole world! She says to the good fellow - the royal archer: “You knew how to get me, know how to live with me; You will be my betrothed husband, and I will be your God-given wife!”

On that they hit it off; Fedot married and lives for himself - he has fun with his young wife, but he does not forget the service: every morning, at dawn, he will take his gun, go into the forest, shoot various game and take it to the royal kitchen.

The wife sees that he was exhausted from that hunt, and says to him: “Listen, friend, I feel sorry for you: every single day you worry, wander through the forests and through the swamps, you always return home wet, but there is no use for us. What a craft! So I know this so that you won’t be left without profits. Get a hundred or two rubles - we'll fix the whole thing!

Fedot begged for his comrades: who had a ruble, who borrowed two and collected just two hundred rubles. Brought it to my wife. “Well,” she says, “now buy different kinds of silk with all this money!” Sagittarius bought different silk for two hundred rubles. She took it and said: “Do not grieve, pray to God and go to bed: the morning is wiser than the evening!”

The husband fell asleep, and the wife went out onto the porch, opened her magic book - and immediately two unknown young men appeared in front of her: "Whatever - order!" - “Take this silk and in one hour make me a carpet, but such a wonderful one that has never been seen in the whole world, and the whole kingdom would be embroidered on the carpet - with cities, and with villages, and with rivers, and with lakes! »

They set to work and not only in an hour, but in ten minutes they made a carpet - to everyone's marvel; gave it to the archer's wife and instantly disappeared, as if they were not there.

In the morning she gives the carpet to her husband. “Here,” he says, “take it to the Gostiny Dvor and sell it to the merchants, but look: don’t ask for your price, but take what they give!”

Fedot took the carpet, unrolled it, hung it on his arm, and walked along the living room rows. I saw one merchant, ran up and asked: “Listen, venerable! Selling, right?" - "I'm selling." - "What is it worth?" - “You are a trading person, you set the price!”

Here the merchant thought and thought, could not appreciate the carpet - and nothing more! Another merchant jumped up, followed by a third, a fourth, and a great crowd of them gathered, they looked at the carpet, marveled, but they could not appreciate it.

At that time, the palace commandant was passing by the living rooms, saw the crowd, and he wanted to find out: what are the merchants talking about? He got out of the carriage, came up and said: “Hello, merchants, merchants, overseas guests; what are you talking about?" - “So and so, we can’t evaluate the carpet!” The commandant looked at the carpet and wondered himself. “Listen, archer,” he says, “tell me the truth, in truth, where did you get such a nice carpet?” - "My wife embroidered." - "How much can you give for it?" - “I myself do not know the price; wife ordered not to bargain, but how much they give is ours! - "Well, here's ten thousand for you!"

Sagittarius took the money and gave the carpet; and this commandant was always with the king - and drank and ate at his table; so he went to the king to dine and took the carpet: “Does your majesty want to see what a glorious thing I bought today?” The king looked - as if he saw his entire kingdom in the palm of his hand, and gasped: “This is a carpet! I have never seen such cunning in my life. Well, commandant, whatever you want, but I won’t give you the carpet!” Immediately the king took out twenty-five thousand and gave it to him from hand to hand, and hung the carpet in the palace. “Nothing,” the commandant thinks, “I’m different for myself, I’ll order even better.”

He immediately galloped to the archer, found his hut, entered the room and, as soon as he saw Streltsov’s wife, at that very moment forgot himself and his business, he didn’t know why he had come: in front of him was such a beauty that the century would not take his eyes off , everyone would watch and watch! He looks at someone else's wife, and in his head thought after thought: “Where is it seen, where is it heard that a simple soldier would own such a treasure? Although I serve under the king himself and have the rank of general, I have never seen such beauty anywhere!

Forcibly, the commandant came to his senses, reluctantly went home. Since that time, since that time, he himself has become not his own: and in a dream and in reality he only thinks about a beautiful archer: and eats - does not eat, and drinks - does not drink, she all imagines!

The king noticed and began to ask him: “What happened to you? Al cool what? “Ah, your majesty! I saw a archer's wife - there is no such beauty in the whole world; I think about her all the time, and I can’t eat or drink, I can’t bewitch with any drug!

The king also wanted to admire it himself, ordered the carriage to be laid down and drove to the Streltsy settlement. Enters the room, sees - unimaginable beauty! Whoever looks - whether old or young - everyone will fall in love madly. The sweetheart of his heart pinched him: “Why,” he thinks to himself, “I go single, not married? I wish I could marry this beauty; why should she be a shooter? She was destined to be a queen!”

The king returned to the palace and said to the commandant: “Listen! You managed to show me Streltsov's wife - unimaginable beauty, now manage to exterminate her husband. I myself want to marry her ... But if you don’t get it, blame yourself: even though you are my faithful servant, you will be on the gallows!

The commandant went, saddened more than ever: he won’t figure out how to solve the archer. He goes through wastelands, back streets, and Baba Yaga meets him: “Stop, royal servant! I know all your thoughts; Do you want me to help your inevitable grief? - “Help me, grandma! Whatever you want, I'll pay!" - “A royal decree has been told to you, so that you exterminate Fedot the archer. This would be an unimportant matter: he himself is simple, but his wife is sick and cunning! Well, yes, we will guess such a riddle that it will not be possible soon. Return to the king and say: far away, in the farthest kingdom there is an island, on that island a deer walks - golden horns. Let the king recruit fifty sailors - the most worthless, bitter drunkards, and order to prepare for the campaign an old, rotten ship that has been retired for thirty years, and on that ship let him send Fedot the archer to get deer - golden horns. To get to the island, you have to sail no more, no less - three years, but back from the island - three years, a total of six years. Here the ship will go to sea, it will serve for a month, and there it will sink: both the archer and the sailors - they will all go to the bottom!

The commandant listened to these speeches, thanked Baba Yaga for her science, rewarded her with gold and ran to the king. “Your Majesty! - is talking. - So and so - you can probably kill the archer of lime!

The king agreed and immediately gave the order to the fleet: to make an old, rotten ship for the campaign, load it with provisions for six years and put fifty sailors on it - the most dissolute and bitter drunkards. Messengers ran to all the taverns, to the taverns, they recruited such sailors that it’s a pleasure to look: someone’s eye is blackened, someone’s nose is folded to one side. As soon as they reported to the king that the ship was ready, he immediately demanded a archer to himself: “Well, Fedot, you have done well with me, the first archer in the team; do me a favor: go to distant lands, to the kingdom of the thirtieth - there is an island, on that island a deer walks - golden horns; catch him alive and bring him here!”

Sagittarius thought, did not know what to answer him. “Think, don’t think,” said the king, “and if you don’t do things, then here is my sword - your head off your shoulders!”

Fedot turned around to the left and walked out of the palace; in the evening he comes home very sad, does not want to utter a word. His wife asks: “What, dear, are you spinning about? Al adversity what? He told her everything in full. "So you're sad about it? There is something! This is a service, not a service. Pray to God and go to bed: the morning is wiser than the evening - everything will be done!

Sagittarius lay down and fell asleep, and his wife opened a magic book - and suddenly two unknown young men appeared before her: “Whatever, what is needed?” - “Go beyond distant lands, to the thirtieth kingdom - to the island, catch a deer - golden horns and bring it here!” - “Listen! By the light, everything will be fulfilled!” They rushed like a whirlwind to that island, grabbed a deer - golden horns and brought it straight to the archer in the yard; an hour before dawn they finished the whole thing and disappeared, as if they were not there.

The beautiful archer woke up her husband early and said to him: “Come and see: a deer - golden horns is walking in your yard. Take him to the ship with you, sail forward five days, turn back for six days.

Sagittarius put the deer in a deaf, closed cage and took it to the ship. “What is it?” the sailors ask. "Various supplies and drugs: the path is long, you never know what you need!"

The time has come for the ship to leave the pier; many people came to see the swimmers off, and the king himself came; said goodbye to Fedot and put him over all the sailors for the eldest.

For the fifth day the ship is sailing on the sea, the shores have not been seen for a long time. Fedot the archer ordered a barrel of wine in forty buckets to be rolled onto the deck and said to the sailors: “Drink, brothers, do not be sorry!”

And they are glad of that, rushed to the barrel and let's draw the wine, and so strained that they immediately fell near the barrel and fell into a deep sleep. Sagittarius took the wheel, turned the ship to the shore and swam back, and so that the sailors did not know about it, know that from morning to evening they are given wine to drink.

And on the eleventh day he rolled the ship to the pier, threw out the flag and began to shoot from the cannons. The king heard the shooting and immediately to the pier - what is there? He saw the archer, got angry and attacked him with all cruelty: “How dare you go back before the deadline?” “Where can I go, Your Majesty? Perhaps some fool will swim in the seas for ten years and do nothing worthwhile, and instead of six years we only traveled for ten days, but did our job: would you like to look at the deer - golden horns?

They immediately removed the cage from the ship, released the golden-horned deer; the king sees that the archer is right, you can’t take anything from him, and he allowed him to go home, and he gave freedom to the sailors who rode with him for six whole years: no one dares to ask them to go to work - for the very fact that they already these years have served.

The next day, the king called the commandant, attacked him with threats. “What are you,” he says, “are you joking with me? It can be seen that your head is not dear to you! As you know, find a case so that you can put Fedot the archer to an evil death! “Your royal highness! Let me think, maybe you can fix it."

The commandant went through wastelands and back streets, Baba Yaga met him: “Stop, royal servant! I know your thoughts; Do you want me to help your grief? - “Help me, grandma! After all, the archer returned and brought a deer - golden horns! “Oh, I heard! He himself is a simple man, it would not be difficult to exterminate him - it's like sniffing a pinch of tobacco! Yes, his wife is painfully cunning ... Well, yes, we will ask her another riddle, which she will not cope with so soon. Go to the king and say: let him send an archer there - I don’t know where, bring that - I don’t know what. He will not fulfill this task forever and ever: either he will disappear completely, or he will come back empty-handed!

The commandant rewarded Baba Yaga with gold and ran to the king; the king listened and ordered the archer to call: “Well, Fedot! You are my fellow, the first archer in the team. You served me one service: you got a deer - golden horns, serve another: go there - I don’t know where, bring that - I don’t know what! Yes, remember: if you don’t bring it, then here is my sword - your head off your shoulders!

The Sagittarius turned around to the left and walked out of the palace; comes home sad, thoughtful. His wife asks: “What, dear, are you twisting? Al still adversity what? - “Oh,” he says, “I dumped one trouble from my neck, and another fell on me: the king sends me there - I don’t know where, ordered to bring it - I don’t know what ... Through your beauty I carry all the misfortunes!” Yes, this is a great service! To get there, you have to go nine years and back nine - a total of eighteen years, but God knows whether it will be any good! - "What to do, how to be?" - “Pray to God and go to bed: the morning is wiser than the evening! You'll know everything tomorrow."

Sagittarius went to bed, and his wife waited until night, opened the magic book - and immediately two young men appeared in front of her: “Whatever, what is needed?” - “Do you know how to manage and go there - I don’t know where, to bring that - I don’t know what?” - "No, we don't know!"

She closed the book, and the fellows disappeared from her eyes. In the morning, the archer woman wakes up her husband: “Go to the king, ask for a golden treasury for the road - after all, you have been wandering for eighteen years, and if you get money, come in to say goodbye to me!”

Sagittarius visited the king, received a whole bag of gold from the treasury and comes to say goodbye to his wife. She gives him a towel and a ball: “When you leave the city, throw this ball in front of you: wherever it rolls, go there. Yes, here's my needlework for you: wherever you are, and when you start washing, always wipe your face with this towel.

The archer said goodbye to his wife and comrades, bowed to all four sides and went behind the outpost. He threw the ball in front of him - the ball rolls and rolls, and he follows him.

A month has passed, the king calls the commandant and tells him: “Sagittarius went for eighteen years to roam around the wide world, and everything shows that he will not be alive. After all, eighteen years is not two weeks, you never know what happens on the road! He has a lot of money - perhaps the robbers will attack, rob and betray an evil death. It seems that now you can marry his wife. Take my stroller, go to the Streltsy settlement and bring it to the palace!

The commandant went to the Streltsy settlement, came to the beautiful Sneeze Strelka, entered the hut and said: “Hello, smart girl; The king has ordered you to be presented to the palace!”

She comes to the palace; the king greets her with joy, leads her into the gilded chambers and says this word: “Do you want to be a queen? I will marry you." - “Where is it seen, where is it heard: to beat off a wife from a living husband! Whatever it is, even a simple archer, but he is my lawful husband! “If you don’t go hunting, I’ll take it by force!” The beauty grinned, hit the floor, turned into a dove and flew out the window.

The archer passed through many kingdoms and lands, and the ball keeps rolling. Where the river meets, there the ball will be thrown over by a bridge, where the archer wants to rest, there the ball will spread like a downy bed. How long, how short - soon the fairy tale is told, not soon the deed is done - the archer comes to the big, magnificent palace; The ball rolled to the gate and disappeared.

Here the archer thought and thought: “Let me go straight!” - and went up the stairs to the chambers. Three girls of indescribable beauty meet him: “Where and why, good man, did you come?” - “Ah, red maidens, they didn’t let me rest from a long trip, but they began to ask! You would first feed and drink me, put me to rest, and then they would ask for news! They immediately gathered it on the table, seated it, fed it, gave it to drink, and put it to bed.

Sagittarius has had a good night's sleep, gets up from a soft bed, and the red maidens are already carrying a washstand and an embroidered towel to him. He washed himself with spring water, but he does not accept towels. “I have,” he says, “my own towel: there is something to wipe my face with!” He took out a towel and began to dry himself. The red girls ask him: “Good man! Tell me, where did you get this towel from? “My wife gave it to me!” - “So you are married to our own sister!”

They called the old mother, who, as she looked at the towel, admitted at that very moment: “This is my daughter’s needlework!”

She began to question the guest. He told her how he married her daughter and how the king sent him there - I don’t know where, to bring that - I don’t know what. "Ah, son-in-law! After all, I had never even heard of this miracle! Wait a minute, maybe my servants know!”

The old woman came out onto the porch, shouted in a loud voice, and suddenly - where did they come from! - ran all sorts of animals, flew all sorts of birds. “Goy thou, beasts of the forest and birds of the air! You animals roam everywhere, you birds fly everywhere: have you heard how to get there - I don’t know where, to bring that - I don’t know what? All the animals and birds answered with one voice: “No, we have not heard about that!”

The old woman let them go to their places - through the slums, through the forests, through the groves, returned to the upper room, took out her magic book, opened it - and immediately two giants appeared to her: “Whatever, what is needed?” “And that’s what, my faithful servants! Carry me along with my son-in-law to the wide ocean-sea and stand just in the middle - on the very abyss!

They immediately picked up the archer with the old woman, carried them, like violent whirlwinds, to the wide ocean and stood in the middle - at the very abyss: they themselves stand like pillars, and hold the archer with the old woman in their arms. The old woman shouted in a loud voice, and all the reptiles and fish of the sea swam to her: they are swarming - because of them the blue of the sea is not visible! “Goy este, reptiles and fish of the sea! You swim everywhere, you visit all the islands: have you ever heard how to get there - I don’t know where, to bring something - I don’t know what? All reptiles and fish answered with one voice: “No! We haven't heard of that!"

Suddenly, an old lame-legged frog, who had been living in retirement for thirty years, pushed forward and said: “Kwa-kva! I know where to find such a marvel!” - “Well, honey, I need you!” - said the old woman, took the frog and ordered the giants to carry herself and her son-in-law home.

In an instant they found themselves in the palace. The old woman began to inquire about the frog: “How and which way should my son-in-law go?” The frog answers: “This place is at the end of the world - far, far away! I myself would see him off, but I’m too old, I can barely drag my legs - I can’t jump there at fifty!

The old woman brought a large jar, poured it with fresh milk, put a frog in it and gives it to her son-in-law. “Carry,” he says, “this jar in your hands, and let the frog show you the way!” Sagittarius took a jar with a frog, said goodbye to the old woman and her daughters and set off. He goes, and the frog shows him the way.

Is it close, is it far, is it long, is it short - does it come to a fiery river; beyond that river a high mountain stands, in that mountain a door is visible. “Qua-qua! - says the frog. “Let me out of the can, we need to cross the river.” Sagittarius took it out of the jar and put it on the ground. “Well, good fellow, sit on me, but don’t be sorry - you probably won’t crush!”

Sagittarius sat on the frog and pressed it to the ground; the frog began to pout: he pouted, pouted, and became as big as a haystack. The only thing on the mind of the archer is how not to fall down: “If I fall down, I’ll hurt myself to death!”

The frog puffed up and how it jumped - jumped over the fiery river and became small again. “Now, good fellow, go through this door, and I will wait for you here; you will enter the cave and hide well. After some time, two elders will come there; listen to what they will say and do, and after they leave, say and do the same yourself!”

Sagittarius went up to the mountain, opened the door - it was so dark in the cave, even gouge out your eyes; climbed on all fours and began to feel with his hands; I found an empty closet, sat down in it and closed it. A little later, two elders come and say: “Hey, Shmat-mind! Feed you." At the same moment - where did it come from! - chandeliers lit up, plates and dishes rattled, and various wines and dishes appeared on the table. The old people got drunk, ate and ordered: “Hey, Shmat-mind! Take it all away." Suddenly there was nothing - no table, no wine, no food, and the chandeliers all went out.

The archer heard that the two elders had left, got out of the closet and shouted: “Hey, Shmat-mind!” - "Anything?" - "Feed me!" Again lit chandeliers appeared, and the table set, and all sorts of drinks and food. Sagittarius sat down at the table and said: “Hey, Shmat-mind! Sit down, brother, with me: let's eat and drink together, otherwise I'm bored alone! An invisible voice answers: “Ah, good man! Where did God bring you from? It will soon be thirty years since I faithfully serve two elders, and in all this time they have never once put me at the table with them.

The archer looks and is surprised: there is no one to see, and the dishes from the plates seem to be sweeping with a whisk, and the bottles of wine themselves rise, they themselves are poured into glasses, looking - already empty!

Here the archer ate and got drunk and said: “Listen, Shmat-mind! Do you want to serve me? I have a good life." - “Why not want! I've been tired of it here for a long time, but you, I see, are a kind person. - "Well, clean up everything and come with me!"

The archer came out of the cave, looked back - there was no one. “Shmat-mind! Are you here?" - "Here! Don't be afraid, I won't leave you!" - "Okay!" - said the archer and sat on the frog. The frog pouted and jumped over the fiery river; he put her in a jar and set off on his return journey.

He came to his mother-in-law and forced his new servant to treat the old woman and her daughters well. Shmat-reason regaled them so much that the old woman almost went dancing with joy, and for her faithful service she appointed three cans of milk a day to give to the frog. Sagittarius said goodbye to his mother-in-law and set off home.

He walked and walked and got very tired - his fast legs were nailed, his white hands dropped. “Oh,” he says, “Shmat-mind! If you knew how tired I am: it’s just that my legs are taken away! "Why won't you tell me for a long time? I would take you to your place."

Immediately the archer was caught in a violent whirlwind and carried through the air so fast that his hat fell off his head. “Hey, Shmat-mind! Wait a minute, my hat has fallen off!” - “Too late, sir, missed it! Your hat is now five thousand miles behind!” Cities and villages, rivers and forests flash before my eyes.

Here an archer flies over the deep sea, and Shmat-reason tells him: “Do you want me to make a golden arbor on this sea? It will be possible to rest, and to get happiness.” - "Well, do it!" - said the archer and began to descend into the sea.

Where the waves only rose in a minute - there appeared an island, on the island - a golden arbor. Shmat-mind says to the archer: “Sit in the gazebo, rest, look at the sea: three merchant ships will sail past and land on the island; you call the merchants, treat me, regale me and exchange me for three curiosities that the merchants bring with them. In due time I will return to you!”

The archer looks - from the western side three ships are sailing; the sailors saw the island and the golden pavilion. “What a miracle! - they say. - How many times we swam here, except for the water, there was nothing, but here - on the go! - the golden arbor appeared. Let's land, brothers, on the shore, let's see, let's admire!

They immediately stopped the ship's course and dropped anchors; three merchant-owners got into a light boat and went to the island. "Hello, kind person!" “Hello, foreign merchants! You are welcome to me, take a walk, have fun, take a break: a gazebo has been built on purpose for visiting guests!

The merchants entered the gazebo, sat down on a bench. “Hey, Shmat-mind! shouted the shooter. “Give us something to drink and eat!” A table appeared, on the table of wine and food, whatever the soul desires - everything is instantly fulfilled! Merchants just gasp. “Come on,” they say, “change! You give us your servant, and take from us for that any curiosity. - "And what are your curiosities?" - "Look - you'll see!"

One merchant took a small box out of his pocket, just opened it - immediately a glorious garden spread over the entire island: both with flowers and paths, and closed the box - and the garden was gone.

Another merchant took out an ax from under the floor and began to chop: tyap and blunder - a ship came out! Tyap yes blunder - another ship! He bit a hundred times - he made a hundred ships: with sails, with guns and with sailors; the ships are sailing, the cannons are firing, the merchant is being asked for orders... He got excited, hid his ax - and the ships disappeared from his eyes, as if they were not there!

The third merchant took out a horn, blew it at one end - immediately an army appeared: infantry and cavalry, with guns, with cannons, with banners; reports are sent from all the regiments to the merchant, and he gives them orders; the troops are marching, the music is thundering, the banners are fluttering ... The merchant has fun, took the pipe, blew from the other end - and there is nothing where all the power has gone!

“Your curiosities are good, but unsuitable for me! - said the archer. - Troops and ships are the king's business, and I am a simple soldier. If you want to exchange with me, then give me all three curiosities for one invisible servant! - "Will there be a lot?" - “Well, as you know, I won’t change otherwise!”

The merchants thought to themselves: “What do we need this garden, these regiments and warships for? It is better to change - at least, without any care, we will be full and drunk. They gave their curiosities to the archer and said: “Hey, Shmat-mind! We take you with us, will you serve us faithfully? Why not serve? I don't care who I live with."

The merchants returned to their ships and let all the shipbuilders drink and treat: “Come on, Shmat-mind, turn around!”

They ate, drank and fell into a deep sleep. And the archer sits in a golden arbor, becomes thoughtful and says: “Oh, it's a pity! Where is my faithful servant Shmat-mind now?” - "I'm here, sir!" Sagittarius was delighted: "Isn't it time for us to go home?" As soon as he said it, he was suddenly picked up by a violent whirlwind and carried through the air.

And the merchants woke up, and they wanted to drink and eat: “Hey, Shmat-reason, give us something to drink and eat!” No one responds, no one serves. No matter how much they shouted, no matter how much they ordered - there is not a penny to sense. “Well, gentlemen! This maklak fooled us. Now the devil finds him! And the island was gone, and the golden pavilion was gone!” Merchants grieve, grieve, raised the sails and went where they needed to.

The archer quickly flew to his state and sank near the blue sea from scratch. “Hey, Shmat-mind! Is it possible to build a palace here? - “Why not! Now it will be ready!

In an instant, the palace ripened, and so glorious that it’s impossible to say: it’s twice as good as the royal one! Sagittarius opened the box - and around the palace a garden appeared with rare trees and flowers.

Here sits an archer at an open window and admires his garden; suddenly a turtle dove flew in through the window, hit the ground, and turned into his young wife. They hugged, greeted each other, began to question each other, to tell each other. The wife says to the archer: “Since the very time you left home, I have been flying through the forests and groves all the time!”

The next day, in the morning, the king went out onto the balcony, looked at the blue sea and saw: on the very shore there is a new palace, and around the palace there is a green garden. “What kind of ignoramus has decided to build on my land without asking?”

Messengers ran, scouted and reported that the palace was set up by the archer, and he himself lives in the palace, and his wife is with him. The king became even more angry, ordered to gather an army and go to the seaside, destroy the garden to the ground, break the palace into small parts, and betray the archer and his wife to a cruel death.

The archer saw that a strong royal army was coming at him, grabbed an ax as soon as possible: tyap and blunder - a ship came out! He bit a hundred times - he made a hundred ships. Then he took out a horn, blew it once - the infantry fell, blew another - the cavalry fell. Chiefs from regiments, from ships run to him and wait for an order. The archer ordered to start the battle; immediately music began to play, the drums were beaten, the regiments moved, the infantry broke the royal soldiers, the cavalry caught up, took them prisoner, and from the ships in the capital city they were frying from cannons! The king sees that his army is fleeing, he rushed to stop the army himself - but where! Less than half an hour later, he himself was killed.

When the battle ended, the people gathered and began to ask the archer to take the whole state into his own hands. He agreed to this and became a king, and his wife a queen.
(Afanasiev, vol. 2)

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